mothers on the verge

"Now in France and doubly plagued by internet problems. The whole of France is suffering from internet failure or something, can you believe it. Managed to get my email up on my mobile somehow but that's it. Will be back on asap. Apart from that France is lovely." We're excited to hear the details soon!

At least this week: Oblivious Texters Hurt as They Walk : ER docs warn of serious injuries, deaths from text-message mishaps. Text-message mishaps. Just let that wander around in your brain. And then you can laugh at will.

Oh you know what I'm talking about. The hand goes on the hip, the head tilts, and then the eyes, in tandem, are rolled back in the head ending with a sneer that sends the blood spurting northward into your brain like an oil spurt. My daughter, the 5-year-old, has mastered it. Do you know where she's discovered this delightful tick? From all the cute furry animals in all the lovely Dreamworks/Pixar flicks where they toss off one-liners so that the parents shuttling their tots don't get bored. Guess what - I'm not bored. I'm fed up. Yes, that was the sound of my rolling MY eyes. Last week I took The Rabbit instead to Kit Kittridge . Sure, it sounded like an advertorial for the American Girl brand. But guess what -- it wasn't. No dolls in the movie. Just a really great script, stellar acting (Stanley Tucci, Wallace Shawn, Julia Ormand, a FEMALE director), a wonderful timely story about a little girl and her family during the depression, and not an eye roll in sight...

I've been a little side tracked this week in sunny California. I fully intended to blog on a daily basis at the start of the week but good intentions etc. Being sun-drunk and bloated from my aunt's genius culinary skills, not to mention the retail therapy (although sadly the combination of last week's blog experiment and being unemployed has made me exhibit uncharacteristic restraint), has left me like a cow out to pasture. I can barely summon the energy to flick away flies... Now it's near the end of my holiday and I'm jumping on a plane back to London tomorrow. Feeling sad to be leaving my lovely grandpa and my aunts and uncles but very excited to be seeing Alpha and my babies again. Being away from the kids is something I've done rarely and never for more than a couple of days, so being physically parted from their raucous giggles and laughing eyes for over a week has felt a little like I'm missing a limb. Being in Fresno is always bittersweet for me - sw...

While I think it's easy to infer my obsession with coin purses stems from my having a little daughter (with little purses of her own) this would be incorrect. In fact, my need to have these small objects can be traced to my high-school years when I decided that carrying a purse was actually old-lady like, and if it couldn't be squeezed into a 2" x 3" piece of snappable fabric, I wasn't interested. (This has been corrected.) And so I have collected many a tiny bag -- treasures made from reclaimed cashmere, thread-bare silk bags with needlepoint throughout, even a silk wallet I am told was carried during the Civil War in resplendent red and blue silk. Don't get me started on the mother-of-pearl Victorian calling card cases I think I hookwinked from a seller at the St. James's Church flea market when we lived in London. And so this is why I am obsessed OBSESSED with this new little book that shows how I can actually MAKE one of these tiny treasures on my own...

Here are the reasons why I'm not loving Twitter: 1. Yummy London Mummy and I both can't post both of our Twitter feeds on our blog. Either YLM or I can post to the blog. But not both of us. 2. After an hour of tweaking around to try and set up a dual post, I finally gave up, and decided we would post TWO Twitter widgets to the site - which, FYI looked terrible. 3. What happens? My tweets cannibalized YLM's widget. My widget? Empty. Killed my widget. Which freakily restored YLM tweets from the ether. 4. Emailed Twitter for help -- no phone FYI on its site -- FIVE days ago. And still not one peep from these people. 5. Confused why Twitter itself can't TWITTER me an answer. 6. Realize that if I had more HTML proficiency, I might actually be able to set this up properly. Reminding me how lame it is that I am not more HTML proficient. 7. Ever since I signed up with my mobile number (so I could post, well, when mobile) I've been getting some spam. On my cell phone. Can y...

A dirty little secret? Manhattan Mama loves going to tea. Okay, so not that dirty of a secret. When I lived in London, I went to many MANY tea spots. In San Francisco, ditto. In New York I've been to a few -- it's hard to find other women these days who think blowing about $40 on scones and tea is worth it. And truthfully, given the economy today, it's not really. But oh how I love it. So a week ago, The Rabbit and a couple of her friends, were treated to tea at The Carlyle by Auntie for the hotel's Madeline Tea. Held in Bemelmans Bar, the atmosphere is glorious. The room is painted with murals by Ludwig Bemelman, the author and illustrator of the beloved Madeline books. There's a live pianist, children are ENCOURAGED to sing and dance, and they have their own pint-size tea buffet -- real tea too. Problem is, not great on the tea situation. The kids are given chicken fingers, mac & cheese, french fries, cupcakes and jelly beans. No scones. No tea sandwiches. Yes...

After receiving the THIRD emailed thank you note in a month (one was through Evite - I nearly yelled in horror) I have decided THIS is why the world is falling apart. Here's the deal: If I take the time to go and shop for a birthday present for you or your tot. Wrap it, WRITE a card, and deliver it, IN PERSON, to your home/venue, then you can take the time to WRITE A THANK YOU NOTE on a real piece of PAPER back to me. It might cost you 42 cents for the stamp. And maybe even an email to get my address. But I think that investment of time is well-worth it. Still stymied? You are free to copy the template below and fill in the blanks: "Dear BLANK, I/Tot was so excited when I/Tot unwrapped the lovely BLANK. I/Tot can't wait to use/read/wear it. It was extremely thoughtful of you, and I/we thank you so much. I am so glad you were able to come to BLANK'S party! We/I can't wait to see you again soon! All best/Love, BLANK" Seriously. If you can type out your pin numbe...

OK. This is how it went down. Finished work on Friday, as in - FINISHED work on Friday. Yup, my last day... for ever. Feels weird but good. Friday night was spent packing bags for all of us in advance of holidays. Finally finished, perspiring slightly, powered up the laptop to find I couldn't get online. Cue major panic, cursing and some diagnostic stuff. End result is that Virgin broadband was down in our area and I was up creek sans paddle. IF YOU'RE READING THIS VIRGIN THANKS A BLOODY BUNCH... I hold you entirely responsible for the fact that I couldn't blog or print out my boarding pass for my flight the next day, which left me seething in a hideous Heathrow check-in queue for over an hour. Gah. W*nkers. So the kids and Alpha motored off to France early Saturday morning, leaving me waving tearfully on the doorstep. Sad and lonely, I pootled on to Heathrow (scene of aforementioned chaos) to catch my flight to LA, then to catch another flight to Fresno - which is where I ...

So The Rabbit and I had decided by yesterday that vacations are a little more exhausting than we thought. Plus it was just too damn hot. So we spent almost the entire day doing projects in the house and running a couple of basic errands: buying razor blades, picking up dry cleaning, grabbing ingredients for cookies. ($37.16) A fairly mundane day not barely worth blogging about. The only interesting part came when I realized a quart (NOT half-gallon) of milk clocked in at $2.69!!! (Oh, and that the skim milk I bought had ALREADY BEEN OPENED. A discovery I found when I reached for it this morning for my coffee. Gross. When the Prince got home last night about 8 pm, the idea of cooking was not breaking into my brain and so I did order him takeout from Schiller's: burger, sauteed broccoli, fries. ($22 with tip). And so yesterday's tally: $59.16 Tally for the week: $377.62 Stay tuned for today's results. A babysitter, night out with The Prince. Scary numbers sure to come. Plus t...

At an interactive exhibit at the Liberty Science Center, New Jersey. Wednesday, July 16th: How Do You Get Your News? 281 respondents 139 TV (49%) 66 Web (23%) 39 Newspapers (14%) 37 Phones (13%) How Do You Contact Your Friends? 179 respondents 71 Calls (40%) 60 Text Messages (34%) 44 Emails (18%) 15 Letters (8%)

Oh, will this experiment never end... I am starting to bore myself with having to confront the evidence of my dreary daily routine. Bankruptcy is starting to look like an attractive alternative to penny-pinching penury. Questions I need to ask myself: Why do I never go anywhere except for Pret -a-Manger, Starbucks and the newsagent on the way home from work? Why do I eat and drink the same things every single day?Also, why do I rarely eat anything fruit-like during daylight hours? Why do I smoke so much? It's not like I have the excuse of the foolishness of youth anymore. Why isn't this the week that I'm doing something glamorous or even vaguely interesting? I do go out sometimes, honestly! Is the moon made of cheese? And if so, what kind (because if it's Gorgonzola I'm really not interested)? Does my hugely expensive flight to LA count for Saturday's blog post? I bought it a while ago but surely I can add it in just for a smidgen of added interest? Yes, no? ...

Having some scanning issues so you'll have to take my word for it but today was pretty wild on the splashing the cash front. Sadly all sensible expenditure which is never a huge heap of fun - my heart may yearn for Bond Street but necessity takes me to the supermarket... sigh... £73.33 at Sainsbury's for groceries and petrol for the car (big yawn) £1.50 for two Diet Cokes at Pret-a-Manger (yes, I am a creature of habit) £4.30 for lunch at Pret-a-Manger (ditto) £5.81 for a pack of Marlboro Lights from the newsagents A grand total of £84.94 ! That's pretty good for 24 hours. The funny thing is that I thought this experiment would make me realise how much money I waste on a daily basis. But it hasn't. It's just made me realise that my life is incredibly dull. This is my daily routine - drop the kids at school, go to work, only leave the office during the day for meetings, sneaky fag breaks or food raids at Pret (which I eat at my desk), come home, put the kids to bed, ...

So today was New York Vacation Day 3/Credit Crunch Day 4. Finally, today, I spent a realistic amount -- and even had some candy thrown in. On our Third day of vacation, The Rabbit and I invited her great-aunt to join us at the Liberty Science Center. Despite it being fun to have her there, this was also a smart move as she has a car -- and could DRIVE us to our destination. (No subway, bus...) Auntie paid for the parking (another savings), a kindness The Rabbit and I returned by paying for her admission to the center. One adult, one child, one teacher (she's a professor): $32.25. Within 30 minutes of arriving I started to have that insane food attack. I had to eat. We made our way to the lunch counter where lunch was treated upon us. Lovely, and very kind. (and helped with our weekly tally!) We stayed hours today. It's a fantastic place, and while not an easy spot to get for tourists (It's off the Turnpike, in New Jersey. Not exactly a subway ride away), I highly recommend ...

They might make these go away. $285 painted jeans from JCrew. Send me your jeans, and $30. I'll get the same thing done and throw in shipping for free.

I have to echo YLM's sentiments that it's hard to document spending without causing guilt to curl every time I whipped out my card. But here goes: The day was off to a late start stalled partially by our President who decided to grace us with his Texan presence and tell us all to "turn off your air conditioners when you're not at home" as a way to temper our hideous energy/inflation/recession crisis. Let's not even talk about his story about the bank run he witnessed in Texas once. How much do I love this sad sad man. Not that much. But I seriously digress. So The Rabbit and I took our New York Vacation today to the Empire State Building. (Subway $2). Mama's never been, and now I know why. Try 90 minutes of waiting time. For elevators. For 10 minutes of staring at my city. Yes, The Chrysler building looked cool from that height. But a word to any future tourist: BUY THE EXPRESS TICKET. I did not. This, apparently, can shave your wait time in half. But...I ...

God. Starting to hate the way this experiment is making me feel super-conscious about my spending. Starting to think that maybe ignorance is bliss. If you're new to this blog, here's why we're embarking on this crazy fool thing. OK, here goes. Kicked the day off with a Frappucino at Starbucks (I don't like regular coffee, OK? And I NEED something to give me a boot up the ass in the morning). Then got in a round of Diet Cokes for the girls at the office as a mid-morning pick-me-up (ditto above). Just to prove that there is such a thing as a free lunch, I was taken out by a friend for sushi to celebrate my soon-to-be freedom from office-based work (hence the worry about poverty, soon to be a daily reality... yawn). A quick trip to Gap to take back a gift that didn't fit turned into a frenzy of bargain-hunting excitement in the kid's section; got a gorgeous floaty dress for Firstborn for £2.99 - LOVE love love the summer sales - but then blew it by purchasing oth...

In fairness to me, I had forgotten when I agreed to Tally week that The Rabbit was off from camp this week. And I had promised her a New York vacation. The rules are very simple -- we must not do anything we have ever done before, and we must try and act silly like tourists. It's already been great fun for Day One. But the problem is, of course, we are going to spend way more than a normal week's tally of a few cappuccinos and some ice creams from the Mr. Softee truck. But again, perhaps this may give visitors an idea of what it almost does cost to come -- minus, of course, the hotel room! So let's see. We started the morning by running to the post office to mail grandma (that would be my mother) her birthday present and buying a few 1 cent stamps. Postage recently went up and I am too stingy to toss the 41 cent stamps I have still. ($1.71). Then today's adventure was to see the new Kit Kittridge movie (which needs its own post -- SO GOOD. Anyone with a 5+ year old daug...

Today was fairly tame by normal spending standards. I worked from home this morning so forfeited my usual 10am gigantic Starbucks mocha light frappucino (a saving of £3.45! Yay!). Grabbed lunch at Pret a Manger which I sadly didn't have time to finish as went from a conference call to a meeting, then on to drinks (paid for by my client, thankfully), then popped in to the supermarket on my way home to purchase cigarettes and chocolate to add to the candy jar (yes, I am still a teenager at heart.) I haven't added in the travel costs as I used my prepaid Tube card. Today's tally was a very respectable £11.43 . Can't say that I got much for that tenner, though admittedly the cigs took up half the daily spend (why is it that the naughty things are so much fun ?)

Okay -- my black T-shirts that I'd hoped would keep me through August are all sporting tiny little holes in them. Question: A result of horrible industrial strength washing machines in my building? Laundry detergent (although I tend to use Dreft...) Bugs???? (Which will FREAK me out. And I also thought they came in the winter.) Help!!!!

Some how I understood our spending diary to start today -- Sunday. And so in the spirit of true confessions, I decided to just start and spill. Day started off very well -- stayed indoors to fight the retched humidity and so spending was nil. Of course there is the tiny expense of electricity for blasting our non-green air conditioners all day through, but I'll add that in later this week when I gear up for checking the bill. But by the end of the evening, we decided we needed out and needed NOT to cook a meal indoors. And so off we went: dinner at our favorite restaurant, Schiller's where Mama got a very needed glass of Sangria, and The Prince a couple of beers. After? Ice creams! And then to the drug store to search for water guns (very serious item needed for holding own on playground) and finding many school supplies needed for September's Back To School list already sent by The Rabbit's soon-to-be First Grade teacher. Grand Total for the few hours out in Gotham? A ...

And... I spent nothing! Oh, except for £2 in the collection plate at church (God doesn't hand out receipts so you'll have to take my word for it.) What I have done, however, is figure out the weekly cost of each of the direct debits that fly out of the joint bank account (actually, I'll come clean - I made Alpha work it out for me). I'm not sure if all this comes under 'housing' which by the rules of the game are not included, along with income tax and childcare (you can read the original post here ). However, the UK is so brilliant at applying stealth taxes it would be financially foolish to ignore them. Here goes: Council Tax: £39.23 House contents insurance: £5 Car insurance: £7.69 Road tax: £16 Congestion charge: £16 Service charge: £35 School lunches (for two children): £11.66 Gym membership (Alpha, me and the kids get to swim): £40 Utilities: £40 Telephone (landline): £4 Mobiles: £20 Cable & broadband: £7 OMG. A truly shocking total of £241.58 . And th...

As our regular readers will be aware, MM and I will be coming clean about our expenditure every day from tomorrow. We'll be counting every penny/dime we spend in an effort to figure out the true cost of living in both London (where I live) and New York (MM's domicile). You can read the original post here .

Cringe. I can't believe I'm telling you this... OK. Loud and proud. (gulp). My name is YLM and I Am A Secret Fan of High School Musical. (blush) Yes, it's shameful. Especially as I have been going around heaping scorn on this pre-tweeny craze. I have, I admit, acted like a S'Mother, sneering silently at parents who allow their precious angels to have contact with this new Scourge of the Nation. And, ultra shame on me, this was all without watching the offending film or even knowing much about it except that it's about kids in high school (cleverly deduced from the title) and reading something about how the star of the film, Gabrielle or something, is also the star of another less well-known movie available exclusively online... Anyway, Firstborn was gifted with the offending film for her birthday recently and after much pestering, I agreed to curl up on the sofa with the nippers and watch it. I loved it. It's naff. It's cheesy. The lyrics and the dance routi...

I can’t really say Clay taught me to write. I can say Clay taught me to listen. He taught me to listen for details. The way someone spoke. How they moved. And then, of course, the most important thing — what did I think it meant. And for that, I still had to listen. I had to listen to me. Clay listened to me. I came to writing late. Not late as in late. But late enough that I’d clocked a few years already in a career that I knew was not where I wanted to go. Even my parents didn’t really believe I had this writing bug in me. But Clay never acted as if I may or may not make it. He just accepted that this was what I was going to do. What I, as far as he was concerned, was already doing. And so even in a classroom he would growl. “SIT DOWN.” He barked after one particularly bad reading I gave of a story that meant nothing. Even after reading three sentences I knew it meant nothing. It rambled. It veered. It careened. Until finally Clay had enough sense to make it stop. “What’s the headlin...

The media has been wheezing this week at the revelation that a single British person needs to earn at least £13,400 per year - £158 each week - to afford a basic but acceptable standard of living (not including tax, housing or childcare costs). This Minimum Income Standard, as they call it ( MIS for short), goes up to £370 per week for a couple with two children, while a single parent with one child needs £210. What is particularly interesting about the report, apart from making us all panic a bit more about the credit crunch, is that it's findings are based on The Thoughts of The People via a vaguely impressive-sounding consultation process rather than a bunch of crusty academics busily crunching numbers in their ivory towers. But are we as a nation being a bit greedy in coming up with these amounts? We have to bear in mind that a couple with kids would have to earn double the UK minimum wage to get to the MIS level- certainly not achievable for everyone. As one half of a couple ...

Today I attempted the dreary task of tidying up The Pink Pit (aka the kids' bedroom). This is what I found in Firstborn's desk: 14 taxi cards 3 empty packs of Smarties 6 crumpled tinfoil balls 7 rubber bands (the ones the postman thoughtfully leaves scattered on the floor in the communal entrace of our building) 23 random bits of torn up paper, one with "ur sillee" written on it 7 dried-up felt-tip pens The Autumn-Winter '07 Boden catalogue 3 random business cards (stolen from my purse, I suspect) My library card (given up as lost months ago, paid £5 for a new one) My gym locker combi-lock (ditto) 9 scrumpled up bits of tissue 8 sheets of used stickers 1 pink Hello Kitty sock 7 letters from school (none of which I'd seen before) £1.32 in small change Half a banana, slightly furry Living-etc magazine, May issue Alpha's 'DIY Doctor' manual (in pristine condition, ahem) 2 empty packs of Teddy Pom Pom crisps 1 old Council Tax bill 1 headless Barbie Whe...

Oh dear. I have found yet another excuse to postpone making the curtains for the nursery class Wendy House . The laundry mountain has (literally) hit the roof. The hem on Firstborn's school dress is still hanging down. The dishwasher languishes. Dust gathers. Chaos reigns. But I just can't help it. I have found my ultimate fantasy shopping fix and it may be a while before I'm sated. Imagine Facebook with decent graphics, no spotty teenagers and a hefty dose of Net-a-porter/ other delightful shopping site. Check it out: http://www.myfaveshop.com/ . Ahhhh, bliss.