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Why do my children hoard useless things?

Today I attempted the dreary task of tidying up The Pink Pit (aka the kids' bedroom). This is what I found in Firstborn's desk:

  1. 14 taxi cards
  2. 3 empty packs of Smarties
  3. 6 crumpled tinfoil balls
  4. 7 rubber bands (the ones the postman thoughtfully leaves scattered on the floor in the communal entrace of our building)
  5. 23 random bits of torn up paper, one with "ur sillee" written on it
  6. 7 dried-up felt-tip pens
  7. The Autumn-Winter '07 Boden catalogue
  8. 3 random business cards (stolen from my purse, I suspect)
  9. My library card (given up as lost months ago, paid £5 for a new one)
  10. My gym locker combi-lock (ditto)
  11. 9 scrumpled up bits of tissue
  12. 8 sheets of used stickers
  13. 1 pink Hello Kitty sock
  14. 7 letters from school (none of which I'd seen before)
  15. £1.32 in small change
  16. Half a banana, slightly furry
  17. Living-etc magazine, May issue
  18. Alpha's 'DIY Doctor' manual (in pristine condition, ahem)
  19. 2 empty packs of Teddy Pom Pom crisps
  20. 1 old Council Tax bill
  21. 1 headless Barbie

Where does this strange hoarding instinct for rubbish come from? What's the appeal? Is it early onset slob-ism or full-blown kleptomania? Should I be concerned?

Pass me the Pinot, sweetie, this parenting lark is way too weighty for this particular slummy mummy.


My 5-year-old has a draw in his bedside cabinet that is full to brimming with party bags tat.
He absolutely loves all those cheap plastic whistles, men with parachutes, rings, tattoos, badges and keyrings.
And if ever I try to throw any of it away, well, let's just say I have a battle on my hands.
YLM said…
Yes, what is the endless fascination with the tat that comes with those dratted party bags. The chocolate and tooth-rotting lollies I can understand, but the rest of the useless rubbish they pile in is beyond me.

The only solution is to offer a bribe of a more acceptable toy in return for the drawer full of junk - you could just do a stealthy sweep and then look innocent when your small darling demands to know where the tat is, but this can be a risky strategy.

Good luck!
I was about to say thank god I've found someone else with weird children, but then I read your more tat, never fear, the frog is here.

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