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I've been a little side tracked this week in sunny California. I fully intended to blog on a daily basis at the start of the week but good intentions etc. Being sun-drunk and bloated from my aunt's genius culinary skills, not to mention the retail therapy (although sadly the combination of last week's blog experiment and being unemployed has made me exhibit uncharacteristic restraint), has left me like a cow out to pasture. I can barely summon the energy to flick away flies...

Now it's near the end of my holiday and I'm jumping on a plane back to London tomorrow. Feeling sad to be leaving my lovely grandpa and my aunts and uncles but very excited to be seeing Alpha and my babies again. Being away from the kids is something I've done rarely and never for more than a couple of days, so being physically parted from their raucous giggles and laughing eyes for over a week has felt a little like I'm missing a limb.

Being in Fresno is always bittersweet for me - sweet for being with the family I adore and bitter for knowing that I don't have them full time as well as missing my British life. Belonging to two places means you never fully belong to one; I've got used to being torn over the years but it's different from when I was a kid - back then I thought I had all the time in the world but since my gandma died last December I know that time runs out.

But I've had so much fun this week. Helpless laughter with my aunts, long conversations with my grandpa, being thoroughly humilated at the blackgammon board by grandpa's super-sharp 80+ year-old neighbour and dancing to a blues band at a biker bar with my aunt and uncle... good times. Now I have the rest of the summer with Alpha and the girls to look forward to before having to buckle back down to work in September.

This is my summer of freedom. I intend to savour every minute.

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