mothers on the verge

Like any badly behaved pedigree hound, The Player is in his element when running with the pack but is invariably a disaster in the domestic environment. Usually a handsome devil with scads of charm, The Player is the ultimate party boy. He can be found propping up the bar wherever hordes of young and gorgeous women are likely to gather, twinkling away determinedly at the best-looking and most skimpily-dressed babes whilst conspicuously jangling the keys to his beloved Porsche. In Dubai for a three-year contract, he's determined to make the most of everything this most glamorous and obvious of cities has to offer and that most definitely includes the lavish female buffet. Here's a warning, ladies. Any experienced dog trainer will tell you that it's possible to train your wilder breed of hound but a potential owner needs to go in with their eyes wide open. Domestication will take years of work and the regular doling out of tasty treats to reward...

Loving the fact that Marge Simpson will be on the cover of the next issue of Playboy (out Friday). Sadly this isn't something we can pick up on the newstands here in the U.A.E. (not that I would be buying it anyway, to be honest) but the idea of a cartoon housewife dollied up in best Playboy bunny style does make me chortle. As is no doubt intended by those clever marketing chaps and chapesses over at Playboy HQ. A triumph for downtrodden housewives everywhere or a waste of burnt bras? You decide.