mothers on the verge

Off to Nasimi Beach at Atlantis on the Palm tonight with The Mummy Posse. I'm expecting a chilled-out night hanging out on the beach with good sounds and a relaxed crowd. I'll let you know if the reality lives up to the promise when I post a review tomorrow. Free drinks from 8-10pm, all you ladies out there. Grab your flip flops and come on down. 

It is an odd thing, being hungover in Dubai. I would, in fact, go as far to say that it is strangely unlike any hangover I have ever had in any other part of the world. For some reason, the tiniest drop of booze consumed here has a more drastic effect than one would reasonably expect the next day. Conspiracy theorists may venture that some radical group is adding anti-freeze to the  al-kool sold here in an attempt to punish the heathen ex-pats for their wild and lairy ways. Although legend has it that the Australians have been doing this to their grown-up grape juice for years (albeit for less moral reasons, perhaps) and it hasn't exactly harmed their consumption (or sales), has it? Another theory would be that because Dubai has such a hot climate the effects of dehydration are much worse than in more temperate climes. This would make a lot of sense except for the fact that I am very careful to drink as much water as my skin will hold (plus an ext...

If Dubai was a person, it would be the Infantile Boyfriend. You know the kind, we've all had one - he's that bloke who was always late, never remembered your birthday, took the seat at the cinema with the clear view leaving you sitting behind the giant with the huge bouffy head, never gave you the last most chocolately bit of his Cornetto and never, ever apologised. But however irritated and heartbroken you became at his shoddy treatment, you put up with it because he was, frankly, totally gorgeous -so hot that he left a trail of open-mouthed drooling women in his wake, all of them giving you the evil-eye because they wanted your arm-candy. And when you were with him, despite the fact that he was a major sh*t, you had a whole heap of fun. Infantile Boyfriend, like all self-obsessed juvenile delinquents, can always be relied on to ramp up the excitement factor. If it suits them , of course. Dubai is most certainly infantile by nature - half-finished, ...

Still can't find that damned cat . Kids are not speaking to me and have announced an all-out homework strike until pathetic fluffy skinny thing is located. Have tried to lie through my teeth that kitten is having a happy time doing cute kitten things with its mummy and siblings. No dice.  Explained that someone else has probably found it (someone who doesn't already have three psychotic felines and a hotline to the local vet) and is lavishing it with care and devotion, not to mention providing kitten treats and catnip on tap. Firstborn just rolled her eyes at me while the Small(er) One did a surprisingly good impression of a sneer. Have tried bribery. The Small(er) One nearly broke under the temptation of unlimited  Walnut Whips  and Bounty Bars but Firstborn intervened. That child is destined to be the next Arthur Scargill , no doubt about it. Peace is currently AWOL at our house with no immediate hope of return. How ...

I've only been here since January this year but so far have figured out the following top tips for successful Dubai living: 1. Covering your nether regions Do not wear nylon knickers. Ever. There are no mitigating circumstances, however pretty the pants in question may be. Why? Because it's like putting your bum in a sauna. For hours. 40C heat + 70% humidity = 100% cotton all the way baby. Accept no substitutes. 2.   Wean yourself off the slap A face full of make-up doesn't really work in a country as hot as this. Unless you like looking like a sweaty panda , that is. In which case, go right ahead. 3.   One for the road There's no such thing here as 'one for the road'. Drinking and driving is stupid anywhere but in Dubai it's  suicidal. Not only is the law fierce when it comes to booze in the bloodstream while behind the wheel (think zero-tolerance), driving in Dubai is dangerous enough whilst sober, let alone when impaired by alcohol....