mothers on the verge

B*llocks to all that special parent-child one-on-one time nonsense. All children really want during the summer holidays are a brace of cousins to go crazy with (and to egg on to even greater forms of uncivilised behaviour) and a posse of slaves to deliver approved snacks (chocolate, ice-cream, biscuits, nothing green) on the hour, every hour. Examples of uncivilised behaviour experienced at Chateau On The Verge this summer: 1) Two of said brace discovering my fake tan supply and applying it liberally. Firstborn is still sporting a fine pair of orange eyebrows. 2) Fighting with large sticks. 'Nuff said. 3) Pulling all my clothes from their hangers and using them to make a nest in the bottom of the wardrobe. My Marc Jacobs sundress will never look the same again. 4) The utterance of "You're not in my club" and "You're a stupid-head" by one of the cousins (whoever happens to be at the top of the pecking order at the time), followed by outraged bellowing fro...