mothers on the verge

Here in France the rule at the local pool is for men to bind up their man-bits in skimpy nylon and strut around with their chests puffed out. I kid you not, you're not allowed in the pool if you're wearing board shorts - it's Speedo-type trunks (fondly known as 'moule-boule' by ze Frenchies) or go away. And all on the grounds of hygiene or something equally ridiculous. It's a different story on the other side of the Channel. Anyone mad enough to don skimpy trunks and go amongst the public in the style of Rod Stewart is routinely sniggered at and made to feel rightly ashamed of their foolishness. Now Alton Towers, the fun-filled theme park famed across the Isles for its lengthy queues and insanely high prices, has made national Speedo-hatred official by banning them on the grounds of human decency, thus sparing decent daytripping families the sight of lycra clad willies zooming down water slides at high speed (not to mention trunk wedgies, painful for all presen...