mothers on the verge

Okay, I know I'm evil. A friend of The Rabbit's got lice again. They found it tonight. The mama emailed me and asked if we still wanted the play date for tomorrow. And I said...no. I hate myself HATE MYSELF for saying that. But I also just feel like I can't deal. I know it's not the little girl's fault, nor the mama's. Truthfully, I'd be happy for them to wait 24 hours and then they could play together. Plus I know that it's already at school, and The Rabbit is going to play with the little girl there....it's just...ugh. Yes, I'm a completely evil evil evil mama. Really. This time I know I am.

I am not the best networker on the block. Probably because my idea of a perfect day involves sitting in the house reading or writing, or spending time with The Rabbit and The Prince. (yes, permission to gag here...) But, realizing that the entire world is linkedin with all their twittering friends on facebook, I have decided it's time to connect virtually, at least, in hopes this may save me from at least one cocktail party where I have to stand around and answer the dreaded networking question: "So. What are you working on now?" (sewing a fairy costume, planning a child's Halloween party, contemplating a birthday drinks night, finding out teasers for True Blood , not filing pages to my screenwriting coach, baking apple muffins, making calls for an assignment about the dreaded R word..shh..recession..., punting on a manicure,) So this morning, I have spent 3 - T*H*R*E*E - hours sending tweets, writing on walls, and linking in. Yes, I'm guessing exactly the same th...

Alpha's father died this afternoon. Very sudden and totally unexpected. A huge loss for his family, who loved him dearly, and for all those who had the good fortune to have known him. He was a remarkable man in so many ways... a formidable intellect, a raconteur who could liven up the dullest of gatherings, a kind heart, a husband of over 40 years, father to five children and grandfather to six... he was a powerful presence who will never be forgotten. Rest in peace, Paul. You will be greatly missed.

Alpha and I went on a 'date' tonight. (Yes, with each other... we're not that modern, nor do we live in the 'burbs). It's a rare thing, the two of us being let out on our own. Usually we reserve precious babysitting time for when we have to go out with other adults, mainly to avoid being considered antisocial. Truth be told, we're mostly happy sitting on the sofa together, scratching our arses, ploughing through a bottle of Sainsbury's own brand Beaujolais ( yesh , credit-friendly alcohol works just as well as the fancy stuff) and fighting over the remote control. Gosh, doesn't that paint a pretty picture? Anyway, so tonight Alpha and I hit the town. Well, not really. Hitting the town is maybe a massive exaggeration. What we actually did was go to the cinema and then the pub. Not especially fancy but pretty exciting for us. But the best bit of the evening was our mode of transport. Yes, we stole our daughters' scooters. You may think that the sight...

Is it a cliche to say I miss the Santa Ana winds? Perhaps. But this time of year is the season when they begin, when the deserts grow cold at night and the winds pick up and dance across your skin like electric needles taunting with the promise of the unknown. I do love the seasons changing in the east. But sometimes I grow very tired of hearing people who have never lived in the west talk of how time stands still there because it's always the same outside. Anyone who has ever experienced a Santa Ana knows how wrong that is. How when fall comes, and the winds start, there's a taste to the air, and a smell. Maybe it's the danger of brush fires from the dry crack around, that warm snap of heat against cool. There's a static, a crispness, a sudden change maybe like biting into a perfect, ripe apple. But there's no sweetness to the Santa Ana. Just edge. And how enticing that is. As I grow older, and as I've become a mom, everything my daughter does brings a parallel...

I REALLY need some feedback on this people: So long-time readers may remember I started a Halloween event in our building four years ago. Last year, two people conspired to remove me from the steering committee. (How? You ask? By having meetings and not including me...) This year this same thing has happened. So here's my confusion: This insanely stupid, and may I say, hurtful, junior high school thump has been hit on me -- and there are no ramifications against these mothers for their actions. No one seems to care. Beyond me. (Yes, I am quite aware of how pathetic I sound...there's the problem...right?) So -- I know what I am supposed to do: Ignore it and just go on. Isn't that what I tell the Rabbit over and over again? But the truth is I don't even want The Rabbit playing with the kids of these smothers. Because, I have to admit - I am fried from dealing with these parents. I adore spending time with my daughter and my husband. Socializing with a few dear friends. Bu...

What is it about stickers? They're the equivalent of catnip for kids. Firstborn is currently in a frenzy of shoutyness because I'm withholding the sticker stash (she's already managed to go through two packs this morning, surely enough for any child). Apparently I am "the meanest mummy in the world." Excuse me for wanting to leave the house without another full set of High School Musical stickers being plastered all over me. A grinning Troy stuck to my butt is not my idea of a good look. If I ever get to be King of the World stickers will be banned. Forever.

MM's post from last week about the dreaded head lice really made me cringe. It brought back one of my defining moments of shame... Like most kids Firstborn and the Small(er) One have had their fair share of infestations which, of course, means I've had the pleasure of sharing their unwanted visitors. But while a dose of that hideous-smelling lice-killing shampoo works a treat on the kids, I'm not so fortunate (and Alpha, annoyingly, always gets off scot-free...). You see, I may hate head lice but they adore me. My hair, which is curly, abundant and usually slightly tangled, is Nirvana for any kind of creepy-crawly. They are determined to cling to this hairy paradise and no amount of chemical warfare can vanquish them. You can almost admire their tenacity except, like any tiresome kind of houseguest, they simply won't take the hint. After all, if your host or hostess tried to murder you repeatedly, surely you'd be packing your case in one hell of a hurry? So the head...

I can't help but feel that this may have been the long sneeze we needed to have. The one that kept trying to come, but didn't. We thought it had passed. But then, CHOO! A couple of things I've been reading today. Reminding me that my mother is right: Every time a door shuts, a window opens. Or some platitude like that. In any event, it's a good day today to remember to breathe. And maybe even give someone a smile. Because, well, those will always be free. Why the recession is a blessing in disguise: The Times Deep Breath: Gawker

When we moved into this neighborhood, The Rabbit was already 2. Believe it or not friendships had already been forged. For the 2-year-old's. So when she started pre-school, there were many birthday parties The Rabbit was not invited to. When her third birthday kicked in later that year -- I invited everyone in her class, and even the children she played with on the playground. It was a wonderful free-for-all - and she had a blast. It helped to meet parents too -- and start getting involved in the "groups." Unfortunately, I still find this whole birthday party situation troubling. Especially when I know the Rabbit hasn't been invited -- and when I assume the other child is a supposed good friend. Now, it's a given. We have playdates, dinners, our own events where we don't invite everyone. We just can't. But I still can't shake the feeling of anger when I perceive The Rabbit's been slighted. So what do I do? Nothing. I just consider it more excuses t...

We are so late in this. But we discovered that the lovely Betty at the Web-Betty Funhouse tagged us last week with a lovely "Love your Blog!" What a wonderful WONDERFUL thing to discover after our surprisingly unjoyous weekend. (See post yesterday. Or don't, because it's gross.) So, Betty, we love you too! And to pass along the love, we're sending our own shout-outs to 6 blogs we adore at Mother's as well....(And these are picked by us, and in alphabetical order so no feelings are slighted!) 1. DulwichMum — A mum after our own hearts..! 2. Give me the Booger — Because laughter is critical. 3. Life at 45 degrees — Oh. Because we've so been there. 4. The Secret Cave of the Sugar Mama - Because it's often a lovely way to wake up in the morning to this Mama's hilarious stories of her life. 5. Sharon Lovejoy — I discovered her gorgeous gardening books for children long before The Rabbit was born. I built a garden from her inspiration. She will make...

Nothing like spending the better part of my weekend washing everything we owned in hot water, bagging up stuffed animals, and destroying my hair and my daughter's. Oh yes. It's THE LICE. So, Friday the FOURTH child got sent home from The Rabbit's class (four. F-O-U-R.) with lice. I have not had any experience before with these disgusting creatures. Allegedly, they have grown extremely virulent in the past decade as earlier generations went to town on the them with pesticides. Guess what that did? MADE THEM RESISTANT. Whoo hoo. So what does this mean? Anyone is up for grabs. In my last 48 hours of insanity I have discovered this: 1. Anyone can get them. It has nothing to do with being clean, dirty. Just unlucky. 2. Members of my extended family apparently have battled this recently. 3. Just the thought of them can make you itch. (Watch, you're doing it right now.) 4. They're not even dangerous. Just really really gross. (seriously, they don't carry disease. Just ...

YouTube. Good fun, right? Harmless? A source of entertainment? A great place for Disney-related clips to keep the kids quiet for 5 minutes? Erm....NO! Alpha male, who spends 95% of his time surgically attached to our broadband connection, thought it would be a great idea to sit the kids in front of YouTube to check out their latest obsession. They had a great time watching Disney clips, singing along to the songs and giggling. Then he thought that while they were being quiet it would be a really good idea to go out for a quick sprint around the park. OK, they weren't home alone as I was having a well-deserved soak in the bath at the time, but they were unattended in front of a computer screen. A recipe for disaster whichever way you want to look at it. So I'm still in the bath when a sweaty Alpha gets back (like I said, a well-deserved soak). He checks on the kids - I had an ear out and they seemed safe and uncorrupted, singing along to some hideous Disney ditty - to find that ...

I'm in the library with Firstborn and the Small(er) One. This is a regular thing as I'm an unashamed bookworm and hey, we're in the middle of The Crunch so Waterstone's isn't looking like a good option right now. But I think I may be flexing my Waterstones loyalty card more often in future. Why? Because something weird is happening to my children and I think there's a high probability we're not so welcome in the library anymore. So, we're browsing the CD racks. Firstborn holds up some ghastly heavy metal CD with a bleeding Jesus emblazoned all over it. I wince. No, not likely, don't think we're taking that one home today, my love. "But Mummy!" "No, darling. Put it back please." "Mummy!" "No." "MUMMY!" "No, sweetie. Go look at the Sugababes CD's over there instead. Don't think you'd like that one. It's way too shouty." "But Mummy, it's got Jesus on it! We have to ...

This from Bloomberg's wire this morning, attached to our $700 billion stimulus package? A repeal of a 39 cent tax on makers of children's wooden arrows. Just let that sink in for a moment. So for those who are worried about losing their jobs, paying their mortgage, FINDING a student loan, rest assured that prices on those wooden arrows you know you buy your child by the crate, won't be going up. Whew!! Here's the piece and the link: (And remember....both McCain and Obama voted for this..) Senators attached a provision repealing a 39-cent excise tax on wooden arrows designed for children to an historic $700 billion financial-markets rescue that passed tonight by a vote of 74-25. The provision, originally proposed by Oregon senators Ron Wyden [D] and Gordon Smith [R], will save manufacturers such as Rose City Archery in Myrtle Point, Oregon, about $200,000 a year. It's one of dozens of tax breaks benefiting Hollywood producers, stock-car racetrack owners and Virgin I...