They say you can tell a lot by what a woman keeps in her handbag.
My handbag - more commonly known as 'The Black Hole'... since once something is dropped into its murky depths it is rarely seen again - has been increasing in size as the years go by and with the addition of each child. At this rate, expect to see me sporting a nice, smart wheely bag this time next year.
With some trepidation, I empty out my handbag to investigate. Here's what I discovered:
My handbag - more commonly known as 'The Black Hole'... since once something is dropped into its murky depths it is rarely seen again - has been increasing in size as the years go by and with the addition of each child. At this rate, expect to see me sporting a nice, smart wheely bag this time next year.
With some trepidation, I empty out my handbag to investigate. Here's what I discovered:
- A purse bulging with receipts, credit cards, ID cards, 2 driving licenses, photos and, sadly, not much cash
- A locker key from Dubai Mall ice-rink (oops, should have given that back)
- A small bottle of Dettol instant hand sanitiser
- A roll of AED100 notes stuffed into a side pocket (not so impressive on closer examination, but still... a happy moment)
- A tube of Clarins Beauty Flash Balm (to counteract the draining effects of the early-morning school run)
- A tube of Clarins Eye Revive Beauty Flash (ditto)
- A tube of Sephora Lip Attitude in colour G11 (Ladies, the best lipstick ever btw)
- Two packs of Marlboro Ultra Lights, one empty with suspicious-looking chewed bits on the corners (Baby Belly's trademark, but... when did she last get into my handbag??! There's a back-story to this, must remember to interrogate Firstborn and the Small(er) One)
- Four(!) lighters
- One Anapen Junior 150 micrograms (for the Small(er) One's shellfish allergy)
- Various scraps of paper with scribbled notes on them, including one very romantic love note from the Small(er) One *ahhh*
- Three birthday candles (must be from Firstborn's birthday yesterday - really hope so, otherwise they've been in there for months)
- Various toys, including the hideous Littlest Pet Shop dog which the Small(er) One had a tantrum about having lost last week (double oops)
- Three pens, one no longer working
- One nappy (unused! Just in case anyone was wondering...)
- My iPhone
- A sweet letter from one of my most long-standing friends, the lovely Nic
- A copy of J.D. Salinger's 'The Catcher in the Rye'
- A voucher for a free glass of p*ss left over from my last Ladies Night at the Westin (hmm, wonder if still valid?)
- A slightly battered looking Waitrose Raspberry and Apple cereal bar (for low blood-sugar emergencies/ hungry whining children)
- An empty box of painkillers
- Lots of crumbs (from when the Small(er) One tried to use my handbag as a bin for her unwanted sandwich earlier this week)
Conclusion: I am indeed irredeemably slummy.
Anyone else want to 'fess up about their shameful handbags? You know where to comment...
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Do I pass?