Never EVER take two children, both wired on Starbucks chocolate frappucinos (aka kiddy crack), to the Emaar Property office when you need to do some fairly important paperwork. They will:
- Pull each other's ponytails
- Give each other Chinese burns
- Try to twang your bra strap and pull your top up in full view of the entire waiting room - whilst cackling like hyenas
- Shout loudly (it's a very quiet office)
- Get a limb stuck in the revolving door while running away from you, then scream blue murder and say it's all your fault
- Repeatedly kick the back of the desk of the woman serving you whilst asking endless questions in a silly high-pitched voice
- Reinforce every single stereotype about British expat brats ever held by the 25 other lemon-faced people in the waiting area, all of whom are giving you increasingly dirty looks
You will:
- Seethe silently whilst mentally reassessing your spanking policy
- Attempt to telepathically communicate with 25 cross people that it's Not Your Fault and that They Don't Usually Behave Like This, Honestly
- Be tempted to bury your head in your hands and have a long, noisy and hopefully therapeutic weep
- Seriously consider selling both children on e-Bay... for a very, very low reserve price
- Feel like an utter failure
Happy days.
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