Sunday, August 27, 2006

What Price Romance?

Let's talk romance for a moment. Manhattan Mama clearly feels deprived in this department and this is one of the most bewildering aspects of life with her. My latest attempt to remedy this is to make a reservation at A Voce--some interpretation of Tuscan cuisine--that the NYT recently gave three very optimistic stars. I've been a few times on my employers expense, so I know it's nice but I also know what it's going to cost. I'm thinking lucky if we get out of there for less than $150. Tack on another $50 for the babysitter. Then drinks, cabs, etc. Better not to do the math.
It's not that MM wouldn't be perfectly happy with a kabab or a trip to the hipster taqueria, maybe some flowers from the corner stand. None of that would register in her mind as this mythic thing know as a DATE, and thus would win me no more points on her end than remembering to take down the recycling.
Making a DATE means you're thinking of her, which means you're engaged with her, which means she will feel warmly toward you--or so I've been led to believe. Don't make a DATE and, well, sucks to be me.
Nothing about my pre-marriage or pre-kid life prepared me for this. I can understand why this would be important to pre-marriage dating women who want to know, even on a subliminal level, can this guy support me? After child, I can only presume this fullfills some kind of longing of MM to be that single chick again, childless and looking for some man candy.

11 comments:

Manhattan Mama said...

If The Prince invited me to a hipster taqueria (rather than offered: "Hey...you wanna hit Barrio Chino with the rabbit or order takeout?") or brought home a kabob without calling from his mobile "You eaten? I'm grabbing a burger...)or..(my heart swoons) brought me flowers -- even a single one, that he picked...I would most CERTAINLY tag that into the romance column....what the hell's wrong with wanting your main squeeze to think of you sweetly -- and not just as the laundress, or something you roll over and grab at because you "want some" in the morning....sorry buddy. Not budging.

alphamale said...

Hmmm. Man candy.

spender said...

alpha male is in a worrying stage of his emotional development

Yummy London Mummy said...

A girl likes to feel cherished. It goes way beyond raiding your wallet - we also want to suck your emotional reservoir dry. I'm afraid that's just the price you pay for 'getting some'...

emma said...

Bring it on baby, we want MORE dates. And we want chocolates, flowers and where's the jewellery? We've gone through childbirth, we've got the stretchmarks to show for it and we demand diamonds! It's gotta be diamonds. End of comment.

Chav Dave said...

In my part of the world romance is not wiping your wotsit on the curtains after a passion session. Count your blessings woman.

spender said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sean H said...

Romance? What the f*ck is that? I took my girlfriend to MacDonalds this year for our fifth anniversary and she loved it. Actually maybe she didn't, she got a bit of a cob on and I didn't get any for weeks. Maybe I'll take her to Burger King next year, or if I really push the boat out, I'll book a table for two at Pizza Hut.

Anonymous said...

To me, a date is spending time with each other. It doesn't have to be expensive or cost money, but it has to be time set aside purely for spending time together....and no one else we know can be involved. That is a date.

Sugarmama said...

Ditto what anonymous said, though with the babysitter expense tacked on it does tend to get rather pricier than it used to. Still, I'm happy with just a movie--even a crappy one--and a beer at the pool hall next door. Having a grown-up conversation with my husband uninterrupted by the juggling act we both have to perform each evening to get the kids fed and put to bed is what it's about for me.

Though non-obligatory flowers WOULD be nice...

Manhattan Mama said...

I agree sugarmama and am completely confused by the expensive dinner The Prince is waving in my face. If he picked some flowers on the way home, wrote a small note and left it on my desk -- something that says, I see you as more than just the mother, housekeeper, "WIFE." Something that says, I still smile involuntarily when you walk through the door.