Sunday, March 20, 2011

Note to self

Never EVER take two children, both wired on Starbucks chocolate frappucinos (aka kiddy crack), to the Emaar Property office when you need to do some fairly important paperwork. They will:
  • Pull each other's ponytails
  • Give each other Chinese burns 
  • Try to twang your bra strap and pull your top up in full view of the entire waiting room - whilst cackling like hyenas
  • Shout loudly (it's a very quiet office)
  • Get a limb stuck in the revolving door while running away from you, then scream blue murder and say it's all your fault
  • Repeatedly kick the back of the desk of the woman serving you whilst asking endless questions in a silly high-pitched voice
  • Reinforce every single stereotype about British expat brats ever held by the 25 other lemon-faced people in the waiting area, all of whom are giving you increasingly dirty looks 
You will:
  • Seethe silently whilst mentally reassessing your spanking policy
  • Attempt to telepathically communicate with 25 cross people that it's Not Your Fault and that They Don't Usually Behave Like This, Honestly
  • Be tempted to bury your head in your hands and have a long, noisy and hopefully therapeutic weep 
  • Seriously consider selling both children on e-Bay... for a very, very low reserve price
  • Feel like an utter failure
Happy days.

3 comments:

rk said...

I only thought it was mothers of boys that had this problem... (except the pony tail bit) sounds like a normal day out with my two boys!

YEM said...

sadly not RK, I think my girls are quite high impact! I blame Starbucks though, obviously my parenting skills couldn't possibly be to blame!

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious! Love your writing skill! I enjoy reading every post tht you have put up so far...will be back for more! ;-)