Skip to main content

Dubai Stereotypes: The Player

Like any badly behaved pedigree hound, The Player is in his element when running with the pack but is invariably a disaster in the domestic environment.

Usually a handsome devil with scads of charm, The Player is the ultimate party boy. He can be found propping up the bar wherever hordes of young and gorgeous women are likely to gather, twinkling away determinedly at the best-looking and most skimpily-dressed babes whilst conspicuously jangling the keys to his beloved Porsche. In Dubai for a three-year contract, he's determined to make the most of everything this most glamorous and obvious of cities has to offer and that most definitely includes the lavish female buffet.

Here's a warning, ladies. Any experienced dog trainer will tell you that it's possible to train your wilder breed of hound but a potential owner needs to go in with their eyes wide open. Domestication will take years of work and the regular doling out of tasty treats to reward good behaviour... and even then there is always a high probability of regression.

Of course, neutering is always an option if you find yourself in a last-chance scenario but the resulting change in personality may well dilute what first attracted you to The Player, not to mention a serious dimming of that naughty twinkle (and wasn't that what kept you going back for more?!)

So, if you come across The Player, handle with care; he may be good for a night or two, perhaps even a couple of weeks if you're lucky, but he's not a keeper. If you're shopping for a male with parental-introduction potential then steer clear. After all, it pays to remember that a Porsche is just not designed to be fitted with a baby seat...

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hmmm, do I detect just a vague undercurrent of middle age resentment there, Kate S?

Some rather alarming references (from a male POV) to some time honoured ways of dealing with boisterous doggies, but I should warn you it made no difference to ours! Not that he was ever a Porsche man.
Anonymous said…
There's only one way to deal with a Boisterous Doggy - get rid of him! A nice calm Lap Dog is far preferable and likes to stay home at night.
Kate S. said…
ho ho anon, not middle aged yet. Am still clinging on to my sort-of youth. Resentment? Not at all. Been there, tamed that.

Only problem with lap dogs - they are annoyingly yappy and I always have a slight urge to kick them (but I don't, obviously, so let's not have that sparking a comment deluge.)
le spendeur said…
is this some kind of aspirational style guide for slightly greying web developers stuck in england?

where do i sign up?
Kate S. said…
Hi le spend, yes, this is def what the majority of slightly greying web developers aspire to but sadly for you, you were tamed (and neutered??) a long time ago by your lovely common-law. The jangling of Dadmobile keys doesn't really match up, does it?

Also, not sure it really works in Brighton (if you're straight, anyhow). Love to the kids and the missus. x

Popular posts from this blog

Apologies for being incommunicado this week and hope none of you out there are too distraught not to be receiving the usual almost-daily MotV missives. The reason for the silence is that I'm up to my neck, metaphorically-speaking, in research papers for my first grad course assessment. This experience has made me realise how rigorously un-academic I am in my thinking. It has also illuminated how reliant I am on red wine in order to get through endless evenings typing furiously on my laptop, not to mention the fueling of increasingly colorful curses that I feel obliged to aim at the University's online library system which consistently refuses to spit out any of the journals I'm desperate for (I refuse to believe this is 100% due to my technical incompetence...)Oh well, if this is the price one has to pay in order to realize a long-cherished dream then it's not all that bad... No one ever said a mid-life career change would be easy. Wish me luck!

Best of British: how Brit mummies survive in Dubai

British expats are invariably cheerful due to having left the gloomy weather, Gordon Brown's foolishness and increasingly high taxes behind. British mummies are generally especially cheerful due to them usually being in Dubai on their husband's visa, which makes it a bit tricky for them to find employment. Not having to work and being able to enjoy a tax-free salary is a heady combination for many British wives, most of them having been forced to toil whilst juggling overpriced and inept childcare for years in the UK - thanks of course to the Labour party's outwardly family friendly policies which are, in truth, a pile of cobblers designed for nothing more substantial than a media-friendly soundbite or a flurry of tabloid headlines.

British Mummy is the one running towards the school gates looking slightly flustered with her Boden skirt tucked into her knickers. Her Birkenstocks are designed for comfort rather than style, but hell, she loves them anyway, plus they show of…

Recommended & the Mahiki dance-off

My GFs and I went to Mahiki last night, great fun as usual but made me feel a bit old; it seems that Thursday night is the playground of the just-past-pubescent. Oh well. Good tunes though, so whatever.In between taking over the dancefloor - the youngsters may have youth on their side but frankly that shrinks to insignificance in the face of two decades of clubbing experience - one of my GFs and I got into a conversation about why so many people are full of bull.It appears that many people we come across are content to live their lives in a superficial way, skimming the surface of what life has to offer and equating the ownership of stuff (cars, houses, boats, jewelry, designer clothes) with happiness. They converse in terms of status, strut their possessions as a measure of their own self-worth, take themselves far too seriously, are quick to judge others, easily annoyed, complain a lot about very little and their worries seem to far outweigh their joys. Personally, I think all that…