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Car conversations

"Ow!"
"Agghhhh!"
"Eeek! Take that!"
"YOU take that!"
"Muuuuummmmmyyyyy! She hit me!"
"She pulled my hair!"
"She did it first!"
"BOTH OF YOU BE QUIET! I'm doing 110k on the Sheik Zayed and I don't need this right now!"
(loud sobbing)
"It'snotfairyoualwaystakehersideshe'salwaysyourfavoriteandyouhatemeandIwantanewmummycosyou'rereallyreallymeanandyouhatemeandit'snotfairandIhatemylife!"
(louder sobbing, escalating into snotty snort noises and dramatic groans)
"Sh*t!" (As Toyota Yaris randomly swerves into our lane, missing my wing mirror by millimeters)
"Mummythat'srudeyoucan'tsaythatnaughtywordi'mgoingtotellmyteacherandyou'llbeintroubleanditservesyourightbecauseyou'rethemeanestmummywhoeverlived!" (wail) "Nobody loves me!"

(sigh) I'm off to buy that one-way ticket to Buenos Aires. Toyboy optional. 

Comments

Plastic paddy said…
Have recently found that offering pocket money and deducting 5aed fir each offence works a treat, til you get back to zero but then you can offer the chance to earn it back for good behaviour!
Kate B. said…
hi PP, yes I think I need to reinstate the 'good girl' chart by which they used to earn their pocket money. Been a bit preoccupied recently, which may well explain the nosedive in behavioural standards! Frankly, I'm all for bribery.
juicyfatkin said…
did you really sew on all the name labels or did you have a little helper to help you?

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