Skip to main content

Car conversations

"Ow!"
"Agghhhh!"
"Eeek! Take that!"
"YOU take that!"
"Muuuuummmmmyyyyy! She hit me!"
"She pulled my hair!"
"She did it first!"
"BOTH OF YOU BE QUIET! I'm doing 110k on the Sheik Zayed and I don't need this right now!"
(loud sobbing)
"It'snotfairyoualwaystakehersideshe'salwaysyourfavoriteandyouhatemeandIwantanewmummycosyou'rereallyreallymeanandyouhatemeandit'snotfairandIhatemylife!"
(louder sobbing, escalating into snotty snort noises and dramatic groans)
"Sh*t!" (As Toyota Yaris randomly swerves into our lane, missing my wing mirror by millimeters)
"Mummythat'srudeyoucan'tsaythatnaughtywordi'mgoingtotellmyteacherandyou'llbeintroubleanditservesyourightbecauseyou'rethemeanestmummywhoeverlived!" (wail) "Nobody loves me!"

(sigh) I'm off to buy that one-way ticket to Buenos Aires. Toyboy optional. 

Comments

Plastic paddy said…
Have recently found that offering pocket money and deducting 5aed fir each offence works a treat, til you get back to zero but then you can offer the chance to earn it back for good behaviour!
8:31 am
Kate B. said…
hi PP, yes I think I need to reinstate the 'good girl' chart by which they used to earn their pocket money. Been a bit preoccupied recently, which may well explain the nosedive in behavioural standards! Frankly, I'm all for bribery.
9:04 am
juicyfatkin said…
did you really sew on all the name labels or did you have a little helper to help you?
8:54 am
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Apologies for being incommunicado this week and hope none of you out there are too distraught not to be receiving the usual almost-daily MotV missives. The reason for the silence is that I'm up to my neck, metaphorically-speaking, in research papers for my first grad course assessment. This experience has made me realise how rigorously un-academic I am in my thinking. It has also illuminated how reliant I am on red wine in order to get through endless evenings typing furiously on my laptop, not to mention the fueling of increasingly colorful curses that I feel obliged to aim at the University's online library system which consistently refuses to spit out any of the journals I'm desperate for (I refuse to believe this is 100% due to my technical incompetence...) Oh well, if this is the price one has to pay in order to realize a long-cherished dream then it's not all that bad... No one ever said a mid-life career change would be easy. Wish me luck!
17 comments
gimme more...

A thought

Perhaps sometimes a gift can be delivered in the guise of a tragedy. It's just a matter of perception, after all. I suspect that the talent lies in looking beyond the surface to what lies beneath and beyond. And, of course, being able to make sense of it all and going on to apply that knowledge to building a productive way forward. Here's hoping.
11 comments
gimme more...

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

A friend recently emailed me to say that her big memory of her stay with us last year is that she had a great birthday, one of the few where she didn't 'act like a spoiled grumpy princess'. She tried to give me all the credit but as I explained to her, it was all down to having a fellow female organising the birthday fun rather than leaving it to her partner. Her email got me thinking about birthdays and how very different men and women are in their attitudes to celebrating special occasions. It also had me thinking about my birthday two years ago when I threw a major tantrum in the Carrefour car-park after being told that we were off to do the weekly shop, kids in tow, which was simply the final straw at the end of a very uninspiring day. In contrast, my birthday last year was rather lovely (a morning on my own in a spa with no mobile coverage, pure selfish bliss). This year - in a few short months, eek! - I'll be hitting the grand old age of 38. This will be my las...
13 comments
gimme more...