Sunday, December 18, 2011

Global Male Stereotypes: the Trophy Hunter

Described in glowing terms by his mates as: "A bit of a rogue...", this wannabe lothario likes his women young, dumb and any flavor of desperate. And preferably in large quantities.

Usually terrified of getting old and becoming what might be termed as boring, the Trophy Hunter has spent his life artfully dodging any woman who might want something more serious than the occasional 'booty call'. He just knows that if he were to allow any of his conquests the privilege of calling themselves by the title of 'girlfriend', he'll wake up the very next morning hog-tied, neutered and with nothing to look forward to except a stroll around the perennials at the local garden centre. The very thought makes him come over a touch queasy.

When challenged about his questionable behaviour, the Trophy Hunter just shrugs his shoulders, shoots his opponent a charming smile and announces: "I have no defense. I just love women... all of them!"

Then, without a smudge of shame, he'll resume his stalk of the bar and practiced play of the 'numbers game' - after all, to go home alone would be unthinkable. If there's anything the Trophy Hunter dislikes more than the prospect of matrimony, it's failing in his quest to pillage and conquer.

How to avoid becoming yet another notch on the Trophy Hunter's bedpost? You could try to run (although this will probably make him all the more determined) or you could simply gaze into his eyes with a slightly deranged expression, whip out a well-thumbed bridal magazine from your handbag and tell him all about the wedding Hope Chest you've been working on ever since you were a teeny little girl...

4 comments:

Daddy Papersurfer said...

When I'm feeling particularly brave I call the TG my atrophy wife. Please don't tell anyone else.

A dad said...

I have a feeling I've been a notch on the female equivalent's bedpost once or twice...

Anonymous said...

Too scared to go into the real jungle to stalk a real tiger, he prowls the urban jungle and then returns to Mummy for his tea! Cute!

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