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Bah humbug

This has certainly been one of my more difficult Christmas periods. A lot of reflection, feelings of deep sadness, grieving for what I had but is no more, and fear about what is yet to come.

And it goes without saying that I acutely missed my two older children, who are with Alpha and his extended family on a skiing trip in France.

But, along with the sadness, it's also been a time to count the blessings I have. The company of a beautiful baby girl who has kept me going over the past few days with her infectious enthusiasm for life. My two older girls, who I can't wait to hug when they return on Friday morning. An almost-ex-husband who still cares and wants the best for our family, in whatever unconventional form that will take. My parents and extended family who I know are there for me even though they are many miles away in physical terms. And a whole host of genuine and truly wonderful friends who know me well enough to be aware that sometimes, when I'm struggling, a kind word or two and a heartfelt hug is enough.

So, it's not all that bad. Even when the emotional roller coaster cranks up for yet another clench-your-teeth ride, I just need to remind myself to close my eyes, hold my breath and that it will only be a matter of time before I can plant my feet on solid ground once more.

Anyone else had an unusual Christmas?


Anonymous said…
That's the spirit - counting one's blessings. Life is nothing if not interesting. We keep on moving on...
Indeed, I suffered a FSI [Festive Season Injury] when I strained my wrist opening a very stubborn jar of mincemeat. I was incapable of helping the TG on Christmas Day and could only sit on the sofa eating gingernuts [using my left hand]. Spookily it started feeling better just as the washing up was finished. I felt dreadful.
A dad said…
It seems to me that you've done pretty well, and you're right, of course. This is just a snapshot in your life, and things will soon be different, and easier.

As for difficult Christmases, you wouldn't have wanted to be part of mine in 2003. Trust me on that :-)
Anonymous said…
I had a really bad Christmas last year my husband left me for another woman. I wasn't looking forward to this year because of the bad memories but I had a really nice time with my new man and his family. My boyfriend is worth ten times my ex and I'm really happy now.
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