And it goes without saying that I acutely missed my two older children, who are with Alpha and his extended family on a skiing trip in France.
But, along with the sadness, it's also been a time to count the blessings I have. The company of a beautiful baby girl who has kept me going over the past few days with her infectious enthusiasm for life. My two older girls, who I can't wait to hug when they return on Friday morning. An almost-ex-husband who still cares and wants the best for our family, in whatever unconventional form that will take. My parents and extended family who I know are there for me even though they are many miles away in physical terms. And a whole host of genuine and truly wonderful friends who know me well enough to be aware that sometimes, when I'm struggling, a kind word or two and a heartfelt hug is enough.
So, it's not all that bad. Even when the emotional roller coaster cranks up for yet another clench-your-teeth ride, I just need to remind myself to close my eyes, hold my breath and that it will only be a matter of time before I can plant my feet on solid ground once more.
Anyone else had an unusual Christmas?