Monday, June 06, 2011

Why Shingles Is Better Than Botox

Top Ten Reasons Shingles-induced Facial Paralysis Is Better Than Botox:

10. You don't have to lie about it. (Oh please, you are not just "well rested.")

9. There's no expiration date -- it can last forever, or disappear and then you can always get Botox.

8. It doesn't require needles to administer.

7. You'll instantaneously lose 452 pounds and for one brief anti-viral induced moment know what it feels like to be Gisele until your now-suppressed metabolism kicks back in and you gain 451 pounds back from sucking on popsicles.

6. It's all natural. (Botox is too - but there's something odd about saying a neurotoxin is natural. Maybe that's me.)

5. You get sympathy rather than envy. But your face still looks shockingly smooth.

4. You don't have to worry about side effects. Botox, for example, can bring about facial paralysis, dry eye syndrome, and tingling, painful sensations - which you'll already have!

3. You have an excuse to spend entire days in bed. (Of course part of the reason is you'll be exhausted, dizzy and ill -- but you just have to suck that up.)

2. You get more bang for your buck. Botox just paralyzes certain muscles on the face. You get the whole lot wiped out in one swoop.

1. It's free. And in today's recessionary world, really, who can resist a bargain?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Er, sorry, but I think this is in fairly questionable taste

Kate S. said...

Since Lauren has just lived through the hideousness of facial paralysis (perhaps you would like to read the post she blogged on Thursday?) its probably a great thing that she can have a laugh about it, don't you think?

But of course you are entitled to your opinion, Anon.

Manhattan Mama said...

Hey Anon sorry you feel that way. But I wrote this after I personally have been experiencing shingles/facial paralysis. And this is my way of making myself laugh over my personal experience. And it did. :)

Plastic Paddy said...

Obviously Anon had bad case of shingles which affected their sense of humour!

Anonymous said...

Funny and brave. I love it. Laughter is the best medicine.