Monday, May 23, 2011

Excuses my daughters use on homework night

Every week it's a major battle to get the kids to do their homework. Anyone else out there with school-age kids will know exactly what this scenario is like and it sure isn't pretty. Sometimes I get an intense urge to throw in the towel and let them face their teachers and explain to them why their homework tasks haven't been completed but when it comes down to it I'm simply too soft/ scared of teacher rage to see it through.

So I resort to good old-fashioned bribery instead. Let me tell you, the threat of their Nintendo DS's hibernating on the top of the naughty cupboard is usually enough to get them to finish. But the girls are also masters of The Cr*p Excuse and have a multitude of delaying tactics. As follows:

1) "I can't do homework now. I need a poo!"
2) "I don't need to do my homework. I'm clever enough already."
3) (Whiney voice, teeth instantly on edge) "But MUMMY, I'm too tired/ sick/ sad..."
4) "But (insert name here) never hands her homework in on time and she never gets told off!"
5) "YOU don't have to do homework so I'm not going to either!"
6) "I need to tidy my room first." (Cue gasps of amazement from all.)
7) "NOOOOOOOOO! It's NOT fair! I get loads of homework, more than anyone else and it's NOT FAIR! I hate my life and I hate you and... etc." (Cue extensive sobbing and door to bedroom slamming).
8) "But I'm HUNGRY!! I can't think when my tummy is all growly!"

Sound familiar?


Daddy Papersurfer said...

I certainly use the first excuse if asked to empty the dishwasher/washing machine/the bins or hang the washing out or put the seat down ....

The Body Family said...

Its like you are living with my kids.... I hear you.

Anonymous said...

Dunno ... try the Khan Academy

The little ones came home from school today *begging* to be allowed to continue their arithmetic exercises they started yesterday instead of watching a movie. In two days, they're doing addition and subtraction that *I* can't do without a calculator! It's nothing fancy, either, just Dr Khan "chalk'n'talk". It's free, too! I reckon they'll be on differential calculus before the summer.

Anonymous said...

I know, it's already summer in Dubai; spelled "H" "E" "L" "L" in Arabic.

I mean summer in Blighty - if it ever comes. Bloody volcanoes! Bloody Iceland! Bloody thieving banks! Time to give Johnny Icelander a whiff of grape! Grab a pitchfork and join us in the streets!