Skip to main content

Excuses my daughters use on homework night

Every week it's a major battle to get the kids to do their homework. Anyone else out there with school-age kids will know exactly what this scenario is like and it sure isn't pretty. Sometimes I get an intense urge to throw in the towel and let them face their teachers and explain to them why their homework tasks haven't been completed but when it comes down to it I'm simply too soft/ scared of teacher rage to see it through.

So I resort to good old-fashioned bribery instead. Let me tell you, the threat of their Nintendo DS's hibernating on the top of the naughty cupboard is usually enough to get them to finish. But the girls are also masters of The Cr*p Excuse and have a multitude of delaying tactics. As follows:

1) "I can't do homework now. I need a poo!"
2) "I don't need to do my homework. I'm clever enough already."
3) (Whiney voice, teeth instantly on edge) "But MUMMY, I'm too tired/ sick/ sad..."
4) "But (insert name here) never hands her homework in on time and she never gets told off!"
5) "YOU don't have to do homework so I'm not going to either!"
6) "I need to tidy my room first." (Cue gasps of amazement from all.)
7) "NOOOOOOOOO! It's NOT fair! I get loads of homework, more than anyone else and it's NOT FAIR! I hate my life and I hate you and... etc." (Cue extensive sobbing and door to bedroom slamming).
8) "But I'm HUNGRY!! I can't think when my tummy is all growly!"

Sound familiar?

Comments

I certainly use the first excuse if asked to empty the dishwasher/washing machine/the bins or hang the washing out or put the seat down ....
The Body Family said…
Its like you are living with my kids.... I hear you.
Anonymous said…
Dunno ... try the Khan Academy http://www.khanacademy.org/

The little ones came home from school today *begging* to be allowed to continue their arithmetic exercises they started yesterday instead of watching a movie. In two days, they're doing addition and subtraction that *I* can't do without a calculator! It's nothing fancy, either, just Dr Khan "chalk'n'talk". It's free, too! I reckon they'll be on differential calculus before the summer.
Anonymous said…
I know, it's already summer in Dubai; spelled "H" "E" "L" "L" in Arabic.

I mean summer in Blighty - if it ever comes. Bloody volcanoes! Bloody Iceland! Bloody thieving banks! Time to give Johnny Icelander a whiff of grape! Grab a pitchfork and join us in the streets!

Popular posts from this blog

Apologies for being incommunicado this week and hope none of you out there are too distraught not to be receiving the usual almost-daily MotV missives. The reason for the silence is that I'm up to my neck, metaphorically-speaking, in research papers for my first grad course assessment. This experience has made me realise how rigorously un-academic I am in my thinking. It has also illuminated how reliant I am on red wine in order to get through endless evenings typing furiously on my laptop, not to mention the fueling of increasingly colorful curses that I feel obliged to aim at the University's online library system which consistently refuses to spit out any of the journals I'm desperate for (I refuse to believe this is 100% due to my technical incompetence...)Oh well, if this is the price one has to pay in order to realize a long-cherished dream then it's not all that bad... No one ever said a mid-life career change would be easy. Wish me luck!

Best of British: how Brit mummies survive in Dubai

British expats are invariably cheerful due to having left the gloomy weather, Gordon Brown's foolishness and increasingly high taxes behind. British mummies are generally especially cheerful due to them usually being in Dubai on their husband's visa, which makes it a bit tricky for them to find employment. Not having to work and being able to enjoy a tax-free salary is a heady combination for many British wives, most of them having been forced to toil whilst juggling overpriced and inept childcare for years in the UK - thanks of course to the Labour party's outwardly family friendly policies which are, in truth, a pile of cobblers designed for nothing more substantial than a media-friendly soundbite or a flurry of tabloid headlines.

British Mummy is the one running towards the school gates looking slightly flustered with her Boden skirt tucked into her knickers. Her Birkenstocks are designed for comfort rather than style, but hell, she loves them anyway, plus they show of…

Recommended & the Mahiki dance-off

My GFs and I went to Mahiki last night, great fun as usual but made me feel a bit old; it seems that Thursday night is the playground of the just-past-pubescent. Oh well. Good tunes though, so whatever.In between taking over the dancefloor - the youngsters may have youth on their side but frankly that shrinks to insignificance in the face of two decades of clubbing experience - one of my GFs and I got into a conversation about why so many people are full of bull.It appears that many people we come across are content to live their lives in a superficial way, skimming the surface of what life has to offer and equating the ownership of stuff (cars, houses, boats, jewelry, designer clothes) with happiness. They converse in terms of status, strut their possessions as a measure of their own self-worth, take themselves far too seriously, are quick to judge others, easily annoyed, complain a lot about very little and their worries seem to far outweigh their joys. Personally, I think all that…