Okay. Maybe I'm not exactly a girl anymore since I'm most certainly the wrong side of 25 (oh, ok then, make that 35), but whatever I am, I like it. These are the reasons why:
- Women have the extraordinary ability to discuss the state of their vaginas - usually in a post-childbirth context - with other females (often whom they've only just met) without any qualms or embarrassment whatsover. Have you ever overheard men talking about their equipment in such a way (sorry chaps but boastful lies about size/ conquests do NOT count)? Me thinks not.
- Women can have a good old cry without aspersions being cast re their sexual leanings. Added to the fact that A Good Old Cry is, in most cases, much more effective than therapy (not to mention cheaper and more time effective).
- Women can immerse themselves in the wearing of make-up, dresses, hairpieces, complicated undergarments and chicken fillet boobs without being teased by her mates or punched by a hairy bigot. Some men also like to wear these things but few are brave enough to share their particular brand of feminine loveliness with the rest of the world, for aforesaid reasons.
- Girls have no need to do that peculiar tucking and rearranging thing most men indulge in - when getting dressed, when sitting down too quickly, after a long car ride etc. I don't really understand it nor do I wish to have it explained to me. I'm just pleased I don't have to do it.
- Women, as a general rule, do not feel the urge to act as if their sexual organs have just been hacked off when their husband or partner a) wants to drive the car on a family outing, b) politely requests use of the television remote control, c) questions the necessity of playing golf/ football/ snooker every single weekend, d) asks if they'll look after the kids so they can go off on a booze-filled mini-break with their mates.
- Women can chat on the phone for 40 minutes and then recount every single bit of news/ gossip in great detail and proceed to dissect the psychology behind every utterance. They do this because such an activity is hugely entertaining. Men, on the other hand, are incapable of recalling anything interesting however long or short the conversation and, when asked what news was imparted in any particular conversation, will usually just grunt and shrug. Then five days later they'll suddenly announce that their sister is getting married, their grandma won the Lottery and your Dad has left your Mum for a 21-year-old Thai ladyboy.
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