Bring on the ladylove

Why having a girlfriend makes sense:

• The toilet seat would always be down. Where it belongs.
• A girlfriend would never ask why the hell you 'needed' to buy yet another pair of shoes. All women understand that expanding the shoe wardrobe has nothing to do with 'need' and everything to do with desire.
• You'd be more likely to fit into a girlfriend's jeans, thus doubling your outfit choices in one fell stroke.
• Strange emotional outbursts would be immediately understood as being the product of rogue hormones rather than down to certifiable insanity requiring a straightjacket and immediate divorce. Women would also know that this kind of outburst is easily cured by chocolate and/or ice-cream, preferably accompanied by sympathetic noises and a cuddle.
• Being a bit lazy about leg hair removal would be unlikely to provoke insults as to sexual orientation and/or your partner insisting on calling you 'Trevor'. Other women understand that sometimes a grooming holiday is good for both the soul and the bank balance (unless they're Mamafia mamas, of course, but who in their right mind would choose one of those hos as their lady companion?)
• Experiencing weekends without the 24/7 noise pollution of televised rugby/ footie/ cricket permeating every corner of the house, accessorised by a big hairy lump slumped on the sofa slurping beer and scratching his balls.
• Not being soley responsible for the purchase and wrapping of gifts for your in-laws.
• Shopping for a new sofa without your loved one yawning, looking moody and trying to sneak off to drool over power tools/ trainers/ stereo equipment.
• Nail clippings left in the beauty salon rather than on the bathroom floor.
• Plentiful gossip, as opposed to the male habit of denying they know anything to do with anything... despite just having got home from a night out with their mates or have just put the phone down following an hour long conversation with their mother.

Oh sigh.