Sunday, October 25, 2009

Take zat, French Maman!

In a flurry of 'can do' spirit this morning, I decided to take on the Frenchies at their own game.

OK, so I am probably a little too fleshy to properly pass myself off as ze glorious French Maman, plus my hair is far too frizzy, but I can do the whole floaty leetle trapeze dress with witty lace detailing with the best of them. A slicked-back ponytail hides a multitude of bouffy sins. A touch of powder to simulate the non-shiny visage. Have a bit of a tan already so tick on that one. Finish off with one pair of round-toed ballet shoes and I was there, ready to 'zut alors' with the glamorous Gallic hordes at the school gate.

Sadly, it failed miserably. Not one French mother gave me an appoving smile or even flicked their dark sultry glance over my outfit. It was as if I was invisible. Which is all very well when I am dressed in my scumbag Rosbif style rags, but not when I've gone to the considerable effort of tricking myself out in the French femme's national costume.

Hmmm, back to the drawing board. Now, am I brave enough to try to emulate the Glamazon tomorrow?


carol said...

The worse you look the more likely you are to see people you know. In the US anyway

Anonymous said...

Don't be fooled! French Maman saw you alright - she just blanked the competition! Psychological warfare is their weapon of choice. She probably rushed straightaway to her Beautician for an emergency skin-peel. The Glamazon - beware - she will grab you as her New Best Friend and bore you to death with her inanities. Just be yourself, YLM, and wear your rags with pride!