So we're back in Dubai. And it's been non-stop drama ever since we got here.
Firstborn seems hell-bent on a course of self-destruction. Her usual mode of ignoring all commands to stop running on the side of the pool resulted in two broken front teeth and a huge bruise on her chin. Cue emergency dental session, two crowns, a dental bill the size of the UK's national debt and much grumbling about being put on a soup diet for a week until her teeth recover from the trauma of hitting tiled flooring.
Yesterday, having recovered some of her equilibrium, Firstborn decided to ignore all commands to stop jumping on top of a plastic table while at the pool. Sure enough the table broke in two, Firstborn fell off it and is now boasting a cut toe, a shin that looks as if its been attacked by a cheese grater and numerous bruises.
Add all this to frequent tantrums, constant baiting of her younger sister, endless demands for PS2's/ mobile phones/ make-up plus a non-stop volley of teen-style backchat, and I'm almost ready to take her down to the market and swop her for a camel (probably less trouble, at the very least can't talk back).
Firstborn is seven years old; I thought seven was the age of reason. Someone tell me what the hell is going on?