Monday, August 10, 2009

Down with Speedos

Here in France the rule at the local pool is for men to bind up their man-bits in skimpy nylon and strut around with their chests puffed out. I kid you not, you're not allowed in the pool if you're wearing board shorts - it's Speedo-type trunks (fondly known as 'moule-boule' by ze Frenchies) or go away. And all on the grounds of hygiene or something equally ridiculous.

It's a different story on the other side of the Channel. Anyone mad enough to don skimpy trunks and go amongst the public in the style of Rod Stewart is routinely sniggered at and made to feel rightly ashamed of their foolishness.

Now Alton Towers, the fun-filled theme park famed across the Isles for its lengthy queues and insanely high prices, has made national Speedo-hatred official by banning them on the grounds of human decency, thus sparing decent daytripping families the sight of lycra clad willies zooming down water slides at high speed (not to mention trunk wedgies, painful for all present). Read all about it here.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Rumour has it that Sarko was jogging to fit into his new Speedos purchased by Carla. She had them especially contoured for her Sugar Daddy hubby for their hols in Corsica. Carla - ditch the Speedos and the Sarko and get a real man, surfing the waves in his trunks and keeping his sperm count high in their cool bagginess.

YLM said...

What a fantastic rumour. I can totally see Sarko in Speedos - he is skimpy trunks personified. And as for Carla, well, she never has had much taste in men... Let's keep the surfer dudes for more discerning women!

Manhattan Mama said...

Just spent the last few days on the California coast - not a speedo to be seen. Thank god.

Billy Jack said...

What....europeans are so gay.
We caught these 2 guys on the beach taking pictures of each other's speedo package for like 45 minutes. Oddest thing I've ever seen. And we have it on video......HAHA

http://doodiepants.com/2009/09/11/europeans-love-speedos-banana-hammock-fail/