I'm starting to wonder if this religion thing has gone too far.
For those of you new to this blog, both my kids go to Catholic school, in part due to to Alpha having had a satisfying and well-rounded Catholic education and being keen to pass this on to his girls. I, on the other hand, had an entirely secular education (despite being baptised a Catholic) and since then have bumbled along merrily trying to find meaning through a variety of different life-affirming activities (drinking, shopping etc).
I have been all for it. After all, the rigour of a Catholic education is less likely to result in the girls sneaking off to drink Alcopops in the local bus shelter at the age of 12 (or maybe I'm deluding myself). But recent events have made me think that maybe there is a happier medium to be found.
One worrying new development is a new game the girls have started to play, called 'The Priest'. This involves one of them standing on the top bunk in their room clutching a bible, while the other sits on the floor looking 'holy'. The bible clutcher then delivers a sermon, usually in as deep and stern a voice as they can manage.
An example (and this is entirely true, I sat in the hallway taking notes):
Firstborn (booming): "Lord be with you."
Small(er) One: "Amen."
Firstborn: "Jesus made the people, Mary made the kids and God made the chickens. Then Noah came with a Rhino and sailed on the sea. Then Jesus came and got crucified and he was dead, for real, totally dead with bleeding bits."
Small(er) One: "Is it my turn yet? Is it my turn yet?"
Firstborn: "No, wait for your turn. Anyway, everyone was sad and the children were grumpy. But then Jesus came alive! He told everyone to be nice to your mummy and daddy and sisters and your friends. Then the soldiers came and took him away to the castle to see the king."
Small(er) One: "And the king gave him a Diet Coke and some cake and he was happy!"
Firstborn: "Yes. Then Jesus did a miracle and gave the princesses pretty dresses, one in blue and one in pink. And everyone lived happily ever after. Amen."
Small(er) One: "Amen!"
Catholicism twinned with Disney, anyone? Am I right to feel a tiny bit disturbed?