Saturday, October 15, 2005

Fun and games

A friend of mine had a baby two weeks ago. It wasn't the easiest birth so she still feels as if she's been run over by a truck, and to top it off she's got mastitis.

Last night her husband was up for some fun and games. She politely refused and explained that she couldn't for the next four weeks - on doctor's orders. Then she told him that even if she could, she was in so much pain and so exhausted that she wouldn't be in the mood.

And he said, "Yeah, but that doesn't stop you from giving me a blow-job, does it?"

This is the guy who refused to sleep with her for the last three months of the pregnancy (when she was feeling at her most frisky) because it "made him feel weird, knowing that there's a baby in there, and what if I damage it?" Like, get real, if your d*ck was that big you'd have a front page splash on the National Enquirer.

No, she hasn't left him... yet.

5 comments:

Kim said...

Good Grief Charlie Brown - if I was part of the circle of friends of that poor woman and a better capitalist, I'd be starting a book now as to how long their relationship will last.

So, apart from the chauvinism, there are actually men out there still so deluded that their dick is that big its going to bruise the baby's head! Oh hear my laughter loud and proud.

AFSister said...

I swear... sometimes I HATE men. *idiots*

Tell your friend I feel her pain- my second was a 10 pounder that tore me up- I couldn't sit down for 3 months w/o pain, and I had mastitis too. *groan* oh.. the memories.... It's a wonder we women ever have more than one baby. Then again, God knew better than to let the men give birth. Otherwise, we'd be extinct and monkeys would rule the world.

Yummy London Mummy said...

Funnily enough, Firtsborn's nickname for Alpha Male is 'Daddy monkey'...

Mommygoth said...

Hi there - found you ladies through a friend who found you, who doesn't even blog! I am reading this post with my mouth hanging open in horror, remembering my own hormone levels at 2 weeks post delivery and wondering if my own husband would have survived such an incident. Let us know when your friend needs bail money - I'm good for whatever's left on the credit card!

Yummy London Mummy said...

thanks mommygoth :-) I'll start taking donations soon, it's only a matter of time...