In between taking over the dancefloor - the youngsters may have youth on their side but frankly that shrinks to insignificance in the face of two decades of clubbing experience - one of my GFs and I got into a conversation about why so many people are full of bull.
It appears that many people we come across are content to live their lives in a superficial way, skimming the surface of what life has to offer and equating the ownership of stuff (cars, houses, boats, jewelry, designer clothes) with happiness. They converse in terms of status, strut their possessions as a measure of their own self-worth, take themselves far too seriously, are quick to judge others, easily annoyed, complain a lot about very little and their worries seem to far outweigh their joys.
Personally, I think all that status-related stuff is a crock and, while it's fun to drive a cool car and I very much like being surrounded by beautiful things, it's not the essence of life. If all the things I own vanished overnight, I'd survive... so long as I still have the people I love most in my life.
As usual, I digress... anyway...
The conversation went on to discuss what makes a person 'real', the qualities we admire in the people we like most, and what it is that makes someone fully 'human'.
This made me think about one of my favorite therapy textbooks, which I've been re-reading this week; John Powell's 'Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am? Insights into Personal Growth', which was first published in the 1960's. For me, the entire book makes absolute sense and is well worth a read - it's a must-read for anyone interested in the process of becoming 'fully human' through the adoption of self-knowledge, self-acceptance and authenticity.
Here's a few teaser quotes:
"We have been somehow "programmed" not to accept certain emotions as part of us. We are ashamed of them... We might reason that reporting then would disturb a peaceful relationship or evoke an emotionally stormy reaction from the other. But all of our reasons are essentially fraudulent, and our silence can produce only fraudulent relationships. Anyone who builds a relationship on less than openness and honesty is building on sand."
"In fully human people, there is a balance of the senses, emotions, intellect and will. The emotions have to be integrated. Though it is necessary to "report" our emotions, it is not at all necessary that we "act on" them. We must never allow our emotions to control our decisions."
"Most of us feel that others will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. We would rather defend our dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Having rationalized our phoniness into nobility, we settle for superficial relationships."
"To reveal myself openly and honestly takes the rarest kind of courage."
Please feel free to comment, anyone who can relate to this and/ or has a strong (and honest!) opinion.