Saturday, November 26, 2011

My so-called perfect life

Somebody told me recently that they don't read my blog any more because they're sick of me going on about my 'so-called perfect life'. This upset me because my life is pretty far from being perfect right now - it could be a lot worse but it could also be a lot better - and I hate to think that I've inadvertently put such a gloss on things that I've gone too far in the other direction.

This is a personal blog but it's not a confessional and although I try to operate from a base of emotional honesty, not all the events in my life are stories that are entirely mine to tell. I choose to share parts of myself on this blog but I am fully aware that is my choice and mine alone - it's not right to inflict this same exposure on others who prefer not to poke their heads over the parapet. So I don't.

Unless I have direct permission from someone else, I only write about myself, my perceptions, learnings and observations. Admittedly, I do write about my kids but they are not easily identifiable (I never agree to be pictured with my children for media interviews, for example) and my older girls assure me that they find the stories I write about them most amusing. Plus, they know I would never, ever write anything to embarrass them or expose any of their secrets.

This blog was started as a reaction against the 'smug blogs', those teeth-gratingly annoying fairytales of a life viewed through relentlessly rose-tinted glasses; all, it seems, authored by people with a careless disregard for reality and how the perfection myth they're so busy spinning might affect the self-esteem or perception of others.

Lauren and I just want to write about our lives in a realistic way, and hopefully inspire other women to believe that they don't have to be perfect to be worthwhile. The most valuable things are often born from imperfection; from the embarrassing moments, from those 'kick yourself' situations, the funny bits, the rubbish bits, the difficulties, the trials and the tearful moments. We have no intention of setting ourselves up to be anything we're not; we're just two women trying to live our lives to the best of our abilities and, sometimes, just like everyone else, we make a massive hash of things, face tough choices, suffer personal tragedies and berate ourselves for our stupidity/ lack of tact/ low self-esteem/ selfishness/ self-pity/ foolishness/ cowardice/ laziness/ juvenile behaviour/ etc.

So I apologize to any readers who may consider recent posts to have had a tinge of the smug about them. It's unintended and, if that is what's been coming across, extremely regrettable. Please be assured that my life is not perfect, never will be and nor do I especially wish it to be so.

I'll accept my imperfect life as it is, warts and horrors and all, because it's the only one I've got. What I will be sure to do, though, is make the most of it; the crime is not failing to achieve perfection - the crime is failing to appreciate the good things we all have right now, and wasting the opportunities that pass by which may well offer the promise of a better, brighter future.

10 comments:

Plastic Paddy said...

Well said! X

Anonymous said...

"The dogs bark, the caravan moves steadily on"

Kate S. said...

Thanks Paddy. :-)

Anon - Capote right? I know it's an Arab proverb anyway. Thank you, so true.

Anonymous said...

Good luck with whatever is troubling you.

Anonymous said...

Dont listen to them! It's fab.....a 'must read' xxx

Anonymous said...

I've met you once in person at a friend's little boy's birthday party. It is interesting to meet someone in person and then read their blog and to know that their life certainly doesn't seem perfect. Where did someone get that idea from? I'm going to keep reading! It makes me feel that I'm not the only one in some cases and that you certainly can't judge a book by its cover. Keep up the excellent work.

Springs chicken said...

You keep going Hun. We love it !

Anonymous said...

I can't say that I have ever seen your Blog as smug. And whose life is perfect anyway? That would be a work of fiction - or serious delusion! Keep on Blogging!

Circles in the Sand said...

That is such a strange thing for someone to say! I don't think that's how your blog comes across at all - I love it because it's real and I love your optimistic outlook. Keep up the great posts!

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