Skip to main content

A good farewell

We buried my Grandfather three days ago, on Saturday, and the emotional hangover is just starting to abate.

It was a beautiful ceremony. It took place at the graveside on our family plot at the local Memorial Park, the sunlight dappled through the trees overhead with a light breeze offering respite from the hot Californian summer. I've been to very few funerals in my life thus far so I don't have a lot to compare it to, but regardless, this one felt very special for all kinds of reasons.

The mourners were made up of family, friends and neighbors, all of whom had many special memories to share about my Grandfather and kind words to give.  The pastor knew both of my grandparents well, having grown up just two doors down from our family home, and so was able to give a deeply personal and moving sermon which avoided being overly religious - my Grandfather, despite being a spiritual man who had a strong interest in theology, did not adhere to any particular brand of organized religion. My three cousins and I acted as pallbearers, a role I was very proud to be able to fulfill. Many of the mourners, not just family members, got up when invited to share their own loving recollections of Grandpa.

Although my Grandfather had served with the U.S. Air Force we hadn't really considered that he would be due military honors in burial, but it was obviously meant to be as we received a call a couple of days before the funeral from the US Military offering an honor guard and all the official trimmings (they'd seen Grandpa's obituary in the local paper). We accepted with gratitude. The presence of the soldiers in full dress uniform standing to attention at the side of the coffin, the three-gun salute and the folding of the flag moved me more than I could have expected. And when my cousin, a talented violinist, played a haunting rendition of 'Taps', there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

The only jarring moment was delivered by yours truly. There I was, behind the podium, halfway through my eulogy and trying to keep my tears at bay for long enough to be coherent, when a rogue gust of wind picked up my notes and blew them away. Imagine me, scrabbling behind my Grandfather's coffin trying to retrieve my sheet of paper whilst the assembled mourners looked on in bewilderment.... elegant, not.

But despite my inadvertent efforts to inject an element of slapstick to a solemn occasion, it was a good day. Sad yet also joyful, deeply moving yet with moments of levity and most of all, filled with boundless love and affection -  a fitting tribute to a wonderful man. 

Comments

Anonymous said…
At least you didn't forget your notes as I did for my mother's funeral!
expatmammy said…
He's sound like he was avery special man who wasn't short of people who loved him. I sure your eulogy was beautiful and heart as this post is. Thinking of you KS
Kate B. said…
Thanks expatmammy.

Anon - *winces* oh :-)

Popular posts from this blog

The Grim Reaper

Firstborn is obsessed with death. It started with the odd comment, such as; "Mummy, what happens when you die?" OK, I thought, I was expecting this at some point, what a cute little curious brain she has. So I trotted out all the cosy Heaven stuff and left out all the things that could worry her, such as worms and bones and holes in the ground. This went down pretty well, although somehow Firstborn made the jump from my view of Heaven (filled with love, joy, always warm, never rains, has a huge discount designer shoe outlet and I never have to pay my Visa bill) to her own view of Heaven; a wonderous place where small girls don't have to eat their vegetables before they're allowed pudding, and where Barbie dolls grow on trees. Anyway, I digress. Last week Firstborn started shouting "Kill! Kill!" in a bloodthirsty tone while bashing her hithero-beloved teddy against the wall. This was topped by her purposely flushing her favourite My Little Pony down the loo. ...

What Price Romance?

Let's talk romance for a moment. Manhattan Mama clearly feels deprived in this department and this is one of the most bewildering aspects of life with her. My latest attempt to remedy this is to make a reservation at A Voce--some interpretation of Tuscan cuisine--that the NYT recently gave three very optimistic stars. I've been a few times on my employers expense, so I know it's nice but I also know what it's going to cost. I'm thinking lucky if we get out of there for less than $150. Tack on another $50 for the babysitter. Then drinks, cabs, etc. Better not to do the math. It's not that MM wouldn't be perfectly happy with a kabab or a trip to the hipster taqueria, maybe some flowers from the corner stand. None of that would register in her mind as this mythic thing know as a DATE, and thus would win me no more points on her end than remembering to take down the recycling. Making a DATE means you're thinking of her, which means you're engaged with h...