Skip to main content

Why Does My 7-year-old Need a Blackbelt?

Spanish lessons on Monday. Piano Tuesday. Tap Wednesday. Gymnastics Thursday. Acting classes Friday.

Today, kids after school activities sound like a barrage of programs and classes that rival what I even did in college . Parents tell me their kids love it, ask for the sessions, even as the mom (it's almost always the mom) sits there with dark circles and a slow, drooped smile saying how much she loves it too. I always found the scheduling hilarious. But now I'm wondering if the joke is on me.

The Rabbit takes tap and piano classes two days a week -- one for each. I'm the one that found the ceramic course, the karate classes and mused about starting a science club until she put a kabbash on my frantic plans. "Mama, I want some time to just play." Sigh. It's hard when your 7-year-old is more sane than you.

But I do worry (I live in New York surrounded by other helicopter parents, how could I not worry?) that with every other kid in classes 4 to 5 times a week, has the normal playing field standards been raised? In other words, is The Rabbit falling behind as she just starts 3rd grade?

What happens when colleges expect to see not just good S.A.T. scores, grades and a couple of extra-curriculars (track team maybe, and school newspaper reporter)? What happens when everyone is a black belt, can play Schubert, dash off pithy phrases in Mandarin and score a perfect ten on the uneven bars before the enter freshman year? Will afternoons spent eating fruit snacks and reading American Girls books have cut it?

I'd like to think she's following more along the footsteps of Frank Lloyd Wright who came home each day to play with blocks with his mom than on a pathway to slackerhood. Of course she's not Wright, I know that. She hates blocks. (yes, you're meant to laugh there.) And my daughter reads, does well in school and has an incredible laugh that when I hear makes me amazed I survived so long on earth without her in existance.

So in my gut, I know she's fine. I know she'll grow up, go to college, find a career, hopefully someone to love, and one day have a child whose laugh makes her believe in fairies again. But in the meantime I'm thinking of starting a Girl's Scout troop. That Science in Action badge looks fun!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Apologies for being incommunicado this week and hope none of you out there are too distraught not to be receiving the usual almost-daily MotV missives. The reason for the silence is that I'm up to my neck, metaphorically-speaking, in research papers for my first grad course assessment. This experience has made me realise how rigorously un-academic I am in my thinking. It has also illuminated how reliant I am on red wine in order to get through endless evenings typing furiously on my laptop, not to mention the fueling of increasingly colorful curses that I feel obliged to aim at the University's online library system which consistently refuses to spit out any of the journals I'm desperate for (I refuse to believe this is 100% due to my technical incompetence...) Oh well, if this is the price one has to pay in order to realize a long-cherished dream then it's not all that bad... No one ever said a mid-life career change would be easy. Wish me luck!

A thought

Perhaps sometimes a gift can be delivered in the guise of a tragedy. It's just a matter of perception, after all. I suspect that the talent lies in looking beyond the surface to what lies beneath and beyond. And, of course, being able to make sense of it all and going on to apply that knowledge to building a productive way forward. Here's hoping.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

A friend recently emailed me to say that her big memory of her stay with us last year is that she had a great birthday, one of the few where she didn't 'act like a spoiled grumpy princess'. She tried to give me all the credit but as I explained to her, it was all down to having a fellow female organising the birthday fun rather than leaving it to her partner. Her email got me thinking about birthdays and how very different men and women are in their attitudes to celebrating special occasions. It also had me thinking about my birthday two years ago when I threw a major tantrum in the Carrefour car-park after being told that we were off to do the weekly shop, kids in tow, which was simply the final straw at the end of a very uninspiring day. In contrast, my birthday last year was rather lovely (a morning on my own in a spa with no mobile coverage, pure selfish bliss). This year - in a few short months, eek! - I'll be hitting the grand old age of 38. This will be my las...