Skip to main content

The secret teenager within

Did Dinosaur art part 2 today. I still don't like dinosaurs but I do like teaching 7-year-olds. They're just so appreciative. I was treated with an embarrassing reverence all because my drawing skills don't totally suck (but let me get this straight, I'm no Picasso). I tell you, it's almost enough to go to a girl's head; if I was a teeny bit more insecure I'd be enrolling myself into teacher training college double quick.

Apart from acting as an unpaid art slave at school I've been sleeping (the dreaded pregnancy narcolepsy strikes again) and working my way through the Twilight series for the second time. I love it even more on second reading, which is why you've barely heard from me in the past week - I've had my head buried in VampireLoveLand.

Now, it has crossed my mind that I shouldn't really be reading books about vampires. After all, the Twilight series is kind of meant for teenagers (or at least, I assume this to be the case since most bookstores are stocking them in the Teenage section) and there isn't even any sh*gging until Breaking Dawn (even then it's not exactly detailed, going direct from frenzied snogging to the aftermath). Plus, I'm a 30-something matron who nobody ever mistakenly calls 'miss' anymore, mother to two girls and a fetus, married for more years than Alpha and I care to remember (only joking sweetie, kiss kiss!) and am supposedly sensible, mature and responsible.

Thus, or so the logic goes, I should not be spending most of my waking hours immersed in a love story about an awkward teenager and a vampire, should I? It's not the most plausible plot line after all. I mean, vampires? Come on!

But, you see, in my secret heart of hearts I am still a teenager. Despite the irrefutable evidence every time I look in the mirror and witness the cruel ravages of time, I still secretly believe myself to be a dewy-skinned, pure-hearted, 17-year-old innocent- basically, the Me I once was before being pulverised by repeated exposure to the bitter disappointments meted out by Life and too many Marlboro Lights.

It also doesn't help that I, just like Bella Swan, can barely walk five yards without tripping over my own feet and have never managed a gymnastic maneuver in my life. I was always the last one to be picked in gym at school. Plus there's the awkward thing, the feeling slightly out of step with 99% of everyone else in the world, the almost permanent undercurrent of angst and uncertainty, the nagging thought that I'm about to do something utterly klutzy at any given moment, and the sheer embarrassment of having arms and legs that don't always want to do my bidding (and I'm not just talking about when I've had one too many strawberry daquiris).

You see, I'm overidentifying. Totally, utterly, insanely overidentifying with a fictitious character who is decades younger than me, a thousand times more hot and a million times more unlikely. 

Oh well. I'll snap out of it at some point. In the meantime, any other Twilight fans out there can join me in reading Midnight Sun, which is Twilight re-written from Edward Cullen's point of view. Enjoy... sigh.


Popular posts from this blog

Apologies for being incommunicado this week and hope none of you out there are too distraught not to be receiving the usual almost-daily MotV missives. The reason for the silence is that I'm up to my neck, metaphorically-speaking, in research papers for my first grad course assessment. This experience has made me realise how rigorously un-academic I am in my thinking. It has also illuminated how reliant I am on red wine in order to get through endless evenings typing furiously on my laptop, not to mention the fueling of increasingly colorful curses that I feel obliged to aim at the University's online library system which consistently refuses to spit out any of the journals I'm desperate for (I refuse to believe this is 100% due to my technical incompetence...)Oh well, if this is the price one has to pay in order to realize a long-cherished dream then it's not all that bad... No one ever said a mid-life career change would be easy. Wish me luck!

Recommended & the Mahiki dance-off

My GFs and I went to Mahiki last night, great fun as usual but made me feel a bit old; it seems that Thursday night is the playground of the just-past-pubescent. Oh well. Good tunes though, so whatever.In between taking over the dancefloor - the youngsters may have youth on their side but frankly that shrinks to insignificance in the face of two decades of clubbing experience - one of my GFs and I got into a conversation about why so many people are full of bull.It appears that many people we come across are content to live their lives in a superficial way, skimming the surface of what life has to offer and equating the ownership of stuff (cars, houses, boats, jewelry, designer clothes) with happiness. They converse in terms of status, strut their possessions as a measure of their own self-worth, take themselves far too seriously, are quick to judge others, easily annoyed, complain a lot about very little and their worries seem to far outweigh their joys. Personally, I think all that…


Following on from the realisation that my lungs are filthy and if I don't give up the smokes soon I face a life of wheezing at best, off I trotted to see the charming Dr T.

Dr T, who's charming by virtue of the fact that he's less jaded than the other doctors in the surgery (in other words, he treats patients as if they're human beings with a right to NHS services rather than annoying fraudsters trying to gain sympathy for imaginary illnesses) promptly put me on potentially habit-forming drugs to get me off the evil weed. Something doesn't feel quite right about this but since I'm so pathetically grateful to have a doctor who's willing to give me more than two seconds of his precious time, I have acquiesced to his demands.

Anyway, this wonder drug is called Champix and promises to have me merrily chucking my smokes in the bin in no time. Or it will if I can get past the possible side effects, the highlights being abnormal dreams, nausea, flatulence, snoring, …