I know, I know. It's a shocker! I can hear your gasps of surprise. How can this be? you exclaim. This is outside of the natural order of things! If you were French you would say Boof and do that funny pursed lip thing as if you've just been sucking lemons. But thankfully you are (probably) not French so we can all get on with registering normal expressions of shock and saying rude Anglo-Saxon swear words in order to properly express our bewilderment.
Anyway, as usual I digress. So I met a brilliantly weird Frenchie who does the following non-Frenchie things:
- She looks like a human being - in other words is of normal weight with boobs and other female attributes - rather than having the sort of physique more suited to that of a young boy
- Following on from the above, she EATS! This very morning I saw her drinking a full-fat latte while nibbling on a muffin. I nearly dropped my croissant in surprise.
- She converses with English people. Not just rich and famous ones but ALL English people. She even smiles at us. And makes non-French style jokes. And I don't think she hangs out with the school Frenchie gang. I haven't heard her curse yet though.
- She doesn't push and jab at people with her elbows. But then again I haven't accompanied her to a sample sale selling the sort of things ze Frenchies like. It could be that she reverts when faced with such a situation.
- She doesn't seem to wear fancy linen clothes with little bows and witty touches from The Secret French Boutique. She wears normal mum stuff from normal chain stores, like the rest of us. This morning she was wearing trackie bottoms and she wasn't on her way to the gym or to do anything exercise related (how do I know this? Because I asked her of course).