Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A rant about melting cookers, empty promises and inept repairmen

Am currently embroiled in a Herculean attempt to have my cooker repaired. So far it has taken nigh on three weeks and two different sets of 'technicians' - possibly misnamed as so far they have failed to display much in the way of any kind of technique (except for champion level ar*e and head scratching, and a dose of dumb insolence) - and my oven is still refusing to cook anything properly. Plus the knobs are in the early stages of melting due to the seal having broken (the one thing they have so far managed to repair, whoopee) and the timer doesn't work.

One technician announced that he couldn't fix the problem as he wasn't an oven specialist (then what are you doing in my house under the pretence that you are here to fix that particular appliance, eh? Explain me that, sunny Jim!)

Another one, a self-professed 'oven expert', insisted that there is nothing wrong with my cr*ppy oven despite the fact that the gas flame stays the same whatever the temperature on the dial indicates. I may not be an 'oven expert' but I do possess half a brain and a highly developed ability to spot bullsh*t in all its guises (didn't work in PR for all those years for nothing, y'know).

Numerous Sharaf customer service grunts have apologised profusely, assuring me in honeyed tones that the problem will be fixed very quickly and brilliantly by their fabulous technical task force super-team - no doubt reading verbatim from their 'How To Get Rid Of Annoying Customers Double Quick' handbook before putting the phone down and laughing uproarously at the idiotic utterances of yet another angry fool with an impotent axe to grind. Well, despite the assurances of these silver tongued charmers I am still the disgruntled owner of an oven that doesn't work properly. The Dali-esque knobs and the silent timer are merely the final insult.

Sharaf, Sharaf, Sharaf... come and fix my oven. Pretty please?

Bah.

1 comment:

The Dotterel said...

Don't talk to me about ovens... our Hotpoint version decided to explode on Christmas Eve of all occasions... made cooking the turkey the following day a little tricky!