Thursday, December 10, 2009

Merry Christmas, one and all

As you know my altered hormones have left me a bit soft in the head so please forgive me if this stunning fact isn't exactly front page news but today I came up with the exciting realisation that here in Dubai....

.... there's no dastardly jingley-jangley Christmas carols playing on a constant annoying and rage-inducing loop in every single shop! Plus the telly schedule isn't packed full of annoying ads trying to get you to buy rubbish plastic sh*te that is guaranteed to break by Boxing Day and stupid perfume ads pretending to be arty-farty 'mini movies' (erm, like Nicole Kidman's rictus face looking misty and lots of prancing around in posh frocks is going to make me race off to the shops and drop Alpha's hard earned cash on something to make me smell like a tart's drawers. Do they take me for a fool?)

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that we may be forced to listen to the call to prayer umpteen times a day in Dubai but we don't have to listen to Rudolph the Red Nosed sodding Reindeer every time we pop out to the shops for a pint of milk between the months of September to 1st January.

Which, frankly, is a bloody relief.

Was tempted to put annoying Christmas music on the blog, plus maybe Santa jiving in the corner with some elves, but thankfully realised that I would hate myself. Plus I'm too tired to do anything except read Grazia with one hand in the biscuit tin. So you're all safe thanks to pregnancy lethargy.

It's not all Scrooge round here though. We do have a tree. It's a plastic tree, which is good according to beardy-weirdy smug eco-types (although truth is we're about as eco as your average Hollywood movie star and that's all they had at Carrefor last weekend), but plastic trees are kind of ick. I mean, let's face it, it's kind of wrong, like putting astroturf or plastic logs in your garden. Rumour has it though that the Park & Shop has just received new stocks of pine-scented car air freshener dangly things, which may not only add an added coat of realism to our Dubai festivities but will also double up as tree ornaments. Genius!


Anonymous said...

Dubai - here I come to beat Xmas Hell! But, hey, don't knock astroturf 'til you've tried it. No gardening, no mud, no sweat!

YLM said...

It's a wonderful place for so many reasons.

Astroturf = evil.