Bit cross today as spent the third morning in a row looking at real estate in Dubai, Alpha being a bit keen to invest some money in bricks and mortar. Just got off the phone to umpteen agents, each more annoying than the last.
Here is my rough guide to communicating with estate agents in Dubai (most of them anyway, I know one who is great. Email me off-blog if you want her details):
Rule #1 - never believe anything they tell you. Dubai estate agents LIE outrageously without any qualms whatsoever.
Rule #2 - if an advert for a property looks too good to be true, it is too good to be true. When you call to inquire after the huge, gorgeous, incredibe bargain you've just seen an ad for it will inevitably already have been 'sold'. In other words, it didn't exist in the first place (except in the estate agent's imagination) and it was a cheap ruse to SUCKER YOU IN.
Rule #3 - square footage in Dubai is not the same as anywhere else in the world. There are two types of square footage here (a) the REAL square footage and (b) the one advertised, which is a guess at the real square footage by an utter halfwit who can't operate a tape measure with an extra 25% thrown in for good luck.
Rule #4 - the current 'market value' of a Dubai property is whatever the vendor bought it for (even if it was at the height of the market two years ago and prices have now fallen 30%) plus a bit extra to make it worth their while. It bears no relation whatsoever to hard cold reality. Do your research and play hardball when it comes to making an offer.
Rule #5 - only buy property built by a reputable developer (i.e. Emaar, Dubai Properties) for obvious reasons. ESPECIALLY if you are tempted to buy off-plan.
Rule #6 - getting into a rage because of the utter tosh spouted at you by Dubai estate agents is a waste of time and energy. Expect the worst and you can only be pleasantly surprised.
Anyone else currently dealing with estate agents in Dubai please send me your stories so we can have a good chuckle together at the ridiculousness of it all.