Monday, September 21, 2009

Why g-strings should be banned

There is a strange trend here in Dubai, mainly championed by the Russians, to display your might-as-well-be naked butt while at the pool. Maybe I'm a bit uptight but since it's illegal to go topless here then why should you be allowed to get your arse out?

It is true that I have a personal loathing of g-strings (why would you wear something that gives you a wedgie on purpose?) and wouldn't sport one of these evil things if you paid me, but it's hard for anyone to deny the fact that there are very few sets of buttocks that stand up to scrutiny in the cold light of day. However svelte you are, unless you're a teenage supermodel with a derriere the shape and texture of a ripe peach then it's best to steer clear. Even if you're blessed with Madonna-like abs and legs up to your armpits, if you're the wrong side of 25 then don't even think about it.

So why this shameless parade of wobbly bum flesh? Do these butt-showing perps think that a backside resembling a dimply pancake is something to flaunt with pride? Don't they see (and hear) my children pointing at them whilst bellowing: "MUMMY! WHY IS THAT LADY SHOWING HER BUM? DID SHE FORGET HER KNICKERS? WHY MUMMY WHY?" Or is it simply that since it's pretty hard to get a good view of your own backside in the mirror (unless you're a contortionist or yoga expert) these poor misguided women are baring all in blissful ignorance?

Frankly, whatever the condition of your buttocks, the most flattering way to display them in public is to cover up. The sight of all this gratuitous g-slung flesh is enough to put a girl off her lunch.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Innocent girl! Ask a bloke! Russian girls know what a vodka soaked middle aged man likes. BUTTOCKS!!! The bigger the better!

DelRae said...

I have to agree with you. There is no reason to go around showing your behind to anyone and everyone - including children. Save the g-strings for the bedroom with someone who (hopefully) wants to see it - not everyone who doesn't! :) Just my opinion though.

YLM said...

Del Ray - totally with you. Even the pertest bum in the world should be granted a little privacy.

Anon - you are obviously much more worldly than me!