Tuesday, September 29, 2009

How to identify the Dubai Trophy Wife

Trophy Wife is a curious beast. Sometimes mistaken for that other eye-catching species of Dubai mummy, The Glamazon, she can generally be identified as a TW by the outrageous age gap between her and her husband, plus the fact that she makes other men's wives a little jittery.

TW is the ultimate high maintenance woman. Her daily beauty maintenance routine is complicated, lengthy and highly scientific but an essential to keep her part of the marriage contract; after all, hubby provides the dough and the status - she just has to look fabulous on his arm, soothe his ego and act interested at all times. If she is also required to provide children (not always the case if she is the second or third wife) then TW has to drop the baby weight in record time and hire a night nanny to ensure she always looks perky, not so exhausted she barely notices the sick on her shoulder or the leaky boobs.

TW is the sort of gal who claims to be unable to walk in flats due to having 'high arches'. She is also 'allergic' to chocolate, wheat and sugar which not only explains her washboard stomach but also her highly developed bitchy streak (extreme deprivation will do that to a woman). Diamonds really are her best friend, along with her hair technician, facialist, dietitian, personal trainer and cosmetic surgeon.

Sometimes TW wonders what her life would have been like if she hadn't married her husband. She wonders what would happen if she started eating refined carbohydrates again, let her roots grow out and callouses appear on her feet. Then she thinks about the marble floors of her executive villa, her walk-in wardrobe filled with designer labels, the mounds of jewellery in the safe, her son's private education and the azure swimming pool in the garden. And she thinks again.

Tomorrow - British mummy

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So funny. Love your blog.