We've been a bit concerned over the past couple of days here at Chateau On The Verge. Large numbers of strange animal droppings have been sighted in tidy heaps behind the barn. Could we have foxes? Wild dogs maybe? It's been quite a puzzle.
We mused on the problem over several glasses of wine. Set up a watch at night to catch the culprits. All to no avail. Not a whisper, not a sighting of a bushy fox tail or anything else except the usual squeaking of bats and rustlings of hedgehogs.
Not a whisper, that is, until I walked around the barn in search of the feral child pack to discover the two smaller ones with their pants off, squatting, fresh loo roll on the grass between them.
When asked why they were committing such a heinous act, they responded, "Because we're dogs, of course."
Dogs? Using loo paper? The world must surely be coming to an end.