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The curious incident of the poo in the night time

We've been a bit concerned over the past couple of days here at Chateau On The Verge. Large numbers of strange animal droppings have been sighted in tidy heaps behind the barn. Could we have foxes? Wild dogs maybe? It's been quite a puzzle.

We mused on the problem over several glasses of wine. Set up a watch at night to catch the culprits. All to no avail. Not a whisper, not a sighting of a bushy fox tail or anything else except the usual squeaking of bats and rustlings of hedgehogs.

Not a whisper, that is, until I walked around the barn in search of the feral child pack to discover the two smaller ones with their pants off, squatting, fresh loo roll on the grass between them.

When asked why they were committing such a heinous act, they responded, "Because we're dogs, of course."

Dogs? Using loo paper? The world must surely be coming to an end.


Jill said…
Ai-yi-yi! My son's "I'm a dog" phase only went as far as trying to eat the dog's food and insisting on having his own bowl on the floor out of which to eat Cheerios. I am sooooooooo glad it never reached this level. But hey, at least they used the paper!
Anonymous said…
Your children are going 'feral' just like most French dogs. Hope they don't go 'rabid' too like most French dogs. But using loo paper...still human then...for now!
sarah said…
I love the label, "anti-social behavior".

Poo'ing behind the barn on a warm summer day--ah, that's the stuff that memories are made of.
YLM said…
Stuff nightmares are made of for me! Is it a normal phase, this anal obsession stuff? As well as poo-ing al fresco they also enjoy showing their bums off to all and sundry whenever possible(the small(er) one once memorably mooned a bus stop on the way home from school). They also seem to enjoy exposing other people's bottoms if the pulling down of my bikini bottoms at the local pool yesterday is anything to go by.

So sighed the much-maligned not-so-yummy mummy...

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