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Potty mouth

The girls have discovered a new and naughty joy - swearing. But they are too clever to just come out with air-blistering curses. Instead, they tell me all the swear words they have been busily collecting while pretending to be shocked. Example:

Firstborn (looking earnest): "Mummy, I know a really naughty word."

Me (pretending to look concerned): "Oh no, you don't do you? Not a naughty word!"

Firstborn (even more earnest, bordering on saintly): "Oh yes, Mummy. I do. I know a really naughty word." (Smiling in anticipation). "Shall I tell you what it is?"

Me (shocked): "Oh no, darling. I don't think I want to hear it. Not if it's really naughty. If it's really naughty then it shouldn't be said by little girls."

Firstborn (barely able to contain her glee): "I think I should tell you, Mummy. I really do."

Me: "Well, if you must."

Firstborn (eyes shining): "I must, Mummy. I simply have to tell you. I'll whisper it so nobody else can hear." She pauses, then comes close to my ear. "It's 'bugger', Mummy. That's a terrible word, isn't it?"

Me: "Terrible. You must never say it again."

Firstborn (looking very satisfied and slightly pink of cheek): "I will never say it again, Mummy. I just had to tell you, just this once."

Five minutes later: repeat above conversation, substituting 'bugger' for 'bloody hell', 'wee' or 'smelly-bum'.



Anonymous said…
How old are they?
You've heard nothing yet!
Just try to ignore them - no rise from Mum means BORING!!!

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