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Scummy mummy

Why is it that:
  • Some women seem to glide through life, elegant to the bitter end, whereas I hobble, slide and stumble?
  • My hair is invariably a cloud of frizz, while others sport a sleek waterfall of glossy silken strands?
  • My under-eye bags dominate my blotchy face but others are smooth and well-rested with a peachy visage (and not a hint of hastily bleached fuzz)?
  • My shoes are always scuffed and down at heel, while others are well-shod and gleaming of toe?
  • My feet revert to their natural hobbit-like state a few days after a pedicure, while other women's feet appear to have been air-brushed (at all times)?
  • My sweaters collect lint like other women collect smooth fine quality cashmere, probably carefully folded, colour coded and stored in hard crafted wardrobes made from sustainable cedar wood?
  • My children's faces tend to be smeared with snot and breakfast throughout the day (even, bafflingly, after their faces have been wiped) topped by dragged-through-a-hedge-backwards hair (even, oddly, immediately after a thorough brushing and application of hair clips) while other children arrive at school looking immaculate?
And I'm not even going to start on the domestic chaos ruling our house.

Where am I going wrong?


sarah said…
um. hello? you could be my frumpy-ass soulmate. I suffer from all the above mentioned afflictions as well. Sad, but true.
YLM said…
Hey soulmate,

It makes me feel so much better to know that I am not alone...

I will think of you when I am forced to get my hooves out in public. Not to mention my stubbly shins. And the rest!

Starting to dread the start of summer... all that grooming with no time to do it and no cash to pay someone else to transform me from my troll-like state. Sigh.

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