Skip to main content

Someone Needs a Happy Slap

Have to admit, we've had a run of good stuff lately. What you ask?

Well, a project I spent the last 6 months working on has finally taken lift and is getting some nice attention with a national audience, and I feel very proud of the work.

And The Rabbit loves LOVES LOVES!!!!! her teacher and school.

And The Prince finally turned a bad situation into something new and got a fresh start.

Good omens for 08 right? Well, then, why am I fighting the bad thoughts again?

Part of it is The Prince. He never seems satisfied with his situation and takes the door closings hard. Frankly, they're hard. I know it. Believe me I know it. I guess I wished he wouldn't see them all so darkly though.

Honestly, if there was ever an Id/Ego battle going on, it's inside me. I take rejection severely hard. So hard I can end up curled on the couch watching The Princess Diaries and sucking down gummies by the pound. And yet, by the next day I'm trying again. It's like some sickness of mine -- I want and I want to try. So much that you think I'd develop a thicker skin. But instead I just walk around bleeding, semi-bandaged, knocking until something opens. It's actually kind of pathetic. But you know what great truth I have learned?

Something always opens. Always.

And the other truth?

It's usually not the door you tried to open in the first place. It's some door you passed on your great impassioned march towards the first door. Discounting it as too small, too old, too 1960s, too modern. And then it opened without you even trying and you realize --- Hey now. That's one great door.

So I guess he would somehow understand that sometimes when you tunnel in on what you want, you can't see all the great things that you don't even know you might want.

But the final truth? You can't tell anyone this. They just have to Eeyore their way through it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Apologies for being incommunicado this week and hope none of you out there are too distraught not to be receiving the usual almost-daily MotV missives. The reason for the silence is that I'm up to my neck, metaphorically-speaking, in research papers for my first grad course assessment. This experience has made me realise how rigorously un-academic I am in my thinking. It has also illuminated how reliant I am on red wine in order to get through endless evenings typing furiously on my laptop, not to mention the fueling of increasingly colorful curses that I feel obliged to aim at the University's online library system which consistently refuses to spit out any of the journals I'm desperate for (I refuse to believe this is 100% due to my technical incompetence...) Oh well, if this is the price one has to pay in order to realize a long-cherished dream then it's not all that bad... No one ever said a mid-life career change would be easy. Wish me luck!

Environment

Being an expat, a favorite topic of conversation is 'where I/you want to go next?' or 'When do you plan to go home?' It's a good question. I'm not sure I want to stay in Dubai for ever, but I'm also not sure about how long I want to be here for or where else I would like to live. For almost the first time ever, I have no fixed plans apart from keeping my eyes and mind open to interesting opportunities. And as to going 'home', I have no idea where that is. Constantly moving around as a child left me with the feeling that 'home' is wherever I am right now, so in effect 'home' could be anywhere. The longest I've ever lived in one fixed place was 18 years in London, on and off, but that doesn't feel like 'home' either - I love going back to see family and friends, and it's a great place to shop, but that's about it. I have a great love for California, which is where my extended family is from (and where most of the