Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Jean Genie

I am in the midst of a dilemma. Admittedly, it's not much of a dilemma in the great scheme of things, nor is it causing me much in the way of sleepless nights (that honour goes to Alpha's snoring alongside the noctural adventures of the Small(er) One) but it is a dilemma nontheless.

It's about jeans, you see.

For years now I have been quite happy with basic Gap jeans. They are fairly cheap, come in a bigger range of styles, colours and sizes than anywhere else I can think of on the high street, and there are Gap stores everywhere, making a new purchase simple and fast. But recently my head is slowly but irreversibly being turned by all those swanky so-called designer jeans that have landed with a bang over the past few years - Seven, Citizens Of Humanity, True Religion, Sass & Bide, J Brand... ooh the list goes on and on and on...

But the problem is that the very idea of paying between £150 and £200 for a pair of jeans seems somewhat decadent. There is, I think, something quite wrong about spending that amount of hard cash on a piece of clothing that is, frankly, very basic.

But still, in idle daydream moments I strut gorgeously across the landscape of my life with my rear clad in expensive denim. Funnily enough I also seem to have morphed into Elle Macpherson (if you knew me you would realise how utterly ridiculous this particular fantasy is - for a start I'm still knee-high to a grasshopper).

I haven't even tried a pair on, partly because I'm worried that if I do I will be spoiled for anything else. I spy babes in high-maintenance denim everywhere and they always look slightly smug. Is it that these jeans all have miraculous bottom-lifting and leg-lengthening properties, or is it just that the women I notice wearing them have naturally pert derrieres and gazelle-like pins?

As I said it's a dilemma. The only solution is to bite the bullet, accept that I am a shallow and irredeemably sad individual, possibly in the midst of a mid-life crisis, and try a pair of the darned things on. Frankly, if £150+ makes my 30-something butt look like a teenager's and my stumpy legs resemble anything like Elle's then it's money well spent.

The next issue will be how to hide the credit card bill from Alpha. Now that is a proper dilemma.


Anonymous said...

As Amy Whinohouse says "NO NO NO".
Don't do it YLM. You will be poorer and dissatisfied and probably smug. What's wrong with Levis? They last for ever and still look great. Don't wear your soul on your butt.

Anonymous said...

I have a pair of James Jeans that I bought a few years ago when I was making a little more money. I love them and I don't regret buying them. They do indeed make my butt and legs look good. Unfortunately I can't afford another pair. I've tried to buy levi's but they don't fit the same way. I've also owned Diesel's but they don't last as long. So I'd say if you're gonna invest get a "classic" fit that's gonna last.

Em said...


Nothing wrong being shallow and you are grounded in reality. Yes there is nothing wrong with buying quality, even for a basic good. BUT you will not look like lovely Elle. You will just be you with expensive jeans on. Really your legs won't look much longer or bum smaller, but you will feel fabulous and that's all that matters.

I've got a mulberry bag - it cost £250 in a 50% sale and I went mental when my other half gave it to me for my birthday. But I love it and use it everyday. If you try the jeans on and love them and will wear them a lot, then cost/per wear it will be more than worth it.

Just remember there is nothing wrong with being you in a pair of expensive jeans. You don't need to be someone else.

Anyway, those supermodels probably have smelly toilet parts or something dodgy to compensate for their seemingly perfection.

Anonymous said...

Wait a couple of years and pick them up for next-to-nothing in a charity shop.