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Fugly

What is it with Crocs? Has everyone in the world gone insane or am I just missing some crucial fashion point? Does my dislike of these plastic monstrosities mark me out as a member of the Fashion Clueless, or is this a case of the Emperor's New Clothes?

But come on... why the hell would anyone want to slip their feet into a clumpy, lumpy piece of (usually) blindingly-coloured plastic, a kiddie-cartoon-on-acid version of traditional Dutch footwear? Yep, I'm sure they are comfortable. I've been told that they don't make your feet sweaty due to their cunningly placed holes (not exactly waterproof though, huh?). I guess they could even pass as quasi-cute in a kind of Paris Hilton way, i.e. if you squint really hard and/or have just gone crazy with the vodka shots - but with the same end result of overwhelming nausea.

I just don't get it. Quite normal people clump about in these horrors without the grace to even look slightly embarrassed. Entire families are often seen wearing them - Mum, Dad, tweens and toddlers (why, oh why would you want to inflict them on your innocent unsuspecting child, even if they do come in blindingly-Barbie pink?). Attractive females sport the things without seeming to realise that they do not 'make' any outfit (except possibly a Tellytubby suit).

I'm sure there is some witty angle on these ghastly things, something along the same lines as flying ducks and garden gnomes (so naff they're cool) but I'm afraid it leaves me baffled.

The final straw came when Alpha, who has not a clue about fashion nor could he care less, admired the zingy orange pair being shamelessly flaunted by a friend. "They're great," he gushed in an admiring fashion usually reserved for when Chelsea scores. "I'd love a pair." I was about to start Googling divorce lawyers when he redeemed himself by explaining that they are just what he needs for gardening.

I think I rest my case.

Comments

Anonymous said…
You may understand the love of wearing them, if you opened your mind and/or had any feet problems. They are great for sore feet. Also, they come in many non-fluorescent colors as well. Oh, and the green be-dazzled flip-flops you have on your page, are definitely not in style...
Manhattan Mama said…
Hi Anon,

Thanks for the heads up on your color choices. You may be right on the flip flops...but have to agree here with YLM. You have the freedom to wear what you'd like. And we have to freedom to find them fugly...feet problems or not.
YLM said…
When it comes to Crocs I'm afraid my mind is firmly closed, however sore my feet (and today they are very, very sore).

Flip-flops ANY day.
Be-dazzled or whatever.
Sugarmama said…
Oh my! Who knew that Crocs were so controversial? I was just noticing at the science museum today that there were whole families' worth of children wearing them and wondering if my girls would notice and want them, too. They seem fine enough for kids' feet, at least given my girls' propensity for stomping in any available puddles and mud slicks. Don't have my own, though. They remind me too much of Birkenstock sandals which I've always loathed, however comfy they're supposed to be.
Liz said…
I have a chronic bad back, and have to choose shoes with care. I bought a pair of Crocs, and, sadly, they help a lot. I think they are quite hideous, and have to choose between vanity and backache.

People keep telling me they like them - and I can't decide whether they are blind or sarcastic.
Anonymous said…
Are those Crocs on your page - the brightly coloured holey things? I thought the UK was prosperous now. Obviously not. Poor kids used to wear those back yonder 'cos their parents couldn't afford real shoes. Or is this misplaced solidarity with impoverished immigrants? Emperor's New Clothes indeed. No self-respecting immigrant would put their childrens feet in such trash. Only misguided liberal, smug, self satisfied apologies for parents would submit their children to a lifetime of athlete's foot and skin allergies by encasing their feet in these cheap (looking) nasty things. You are right YLM.
YLM said…
Hi Liz - I think lots of people do actually like them, which is partly the cause of my confusion. But hell, if they help your back then who cares? I'm all for wearing hideous things for practical reasons (you should see most of the contents of my wardrobe) it's just when people wear something hideous and pretend it's a style statement that makes me cross.

Anon - so so true. You are obviously a kindred spirit.
Em said…
I hate crocs. Pre-schools round here - the Kentish seaside - have banned them as they have said they are dangerous and slip off, causing accidents. So they are a fashion faux pas and dangerous for kids. As for adults wearing them, they are perfect for wading in while trying to prevent kids drowning in the sea on pebble beaches. Also good for gardening, walking dogs and lounging...but as serious wear, no. They are comedy shoes, but I am not laughing. The worst offenders are men who wear them, complete with the little "cute" character buttons you can push into the holes.

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