The Small(er) One has been brainwashed. After a Christmas of being over-indulged by her adoring extended family, which basically translates to eating as much chocolate as she wants whenever she wants, and watching back-to-back Disney movies (Cinderella and Aristocrats on a 3:1 ratio) for a full ten days, the Small(er) One, all of two and a half years old, has decided that she is Cinderella.
She insists on wearing a crown and a ballet skirt at all times - even over pyjama bottoms or jeans, and sneaked under dresses and nighties when the mean stepmother (me, apparently) tries to lay down the law. Before the Small(er) One deigns to leave the house she insists on being decked out with the entire contents of the dressing-up jewellery box. She also carries a handbag on the crook of her arm, just like the Queen. She will only answer to "Cinderella" and objects loudly when addressed by her given name.
In addition to the Cinderella obsession, the Small(er) One has developed hair paranoia. After bellowing (accompanied by the stamping of chubby little feet and often a squeezed out tear), "My hair all messy!" at least once an hour, she insists on being given a hairbrush, then races off to the mirror to fix herself up. Once properly quoiffed, the Small(er) One looks at herself lovingly, tosses her naughty blonde head, smirks and races off to play/ torment her poor parents/ bite Firstborn once more.
More worryingly, the Small(er) One also gets upset if anyone else's hair isn't to her liking; I can't tie my hair back anymore upon pain of toddler rage, and woe betide Firstborn or I if we put our coats on and leave our hair tucked into the collar - for some reason this is an unbearable affront.
As Firstborn said (with a pained expression) after the Small(er) One's 99th tantrum of the day, "Mummy, the shouting makes my ears want to go on holiday."
Should we be worried? If this is the terrible twos (and I haven't told you half of it) what the hell is the Small(er) One going to be like as a teenager?