Saturday, August 26, 2006

Call social services! My wife took our child to McDonalds

I am furious. No, that's an understatement. I am f*cking livid. YLM took Firstborn to the temple of corporate and dietary evil. But that's not the bad bit. I mean we did get take-outs once in the 4 years since her birth but only because there was no other available alternative at the time and I only let them eat chips. No, the mortal sin was that she let Firstborn eat a hamburger. My poor, innocent child that I try to keep nutritionally pure has been polluted. And I know that the only reason YLM went there was to satisfy her own weak and depraved appetite. She sacrificed our child's safety (nutritionaly speaking) to satisfy her own selfish desires. Surely that's child abuse.

Firstborn got a happy meal that inluded a cheap, brightly coloured toy. Perfectly innocent you might say. But no, that's what they want you to think. The problem now is that firstborn will begin to associate McDonalds with pleasure, with reward. We are now on the slipery slope to chilhood obesity, poor educational performance, low moral fibre and all the other evils imposed on society by fast-food culture. Before we know it Firstborn will be a chav single mum living off benefits on a council estate in Slough or living in a crack den in Peckam. See link below for Firstborn's future boyfriends / fathers of my grandchildren:



Yummy London Mummy said...

May I just make the point that this rant comes from the man who is perfectly happy to feed his children gummy bears (choking hazard AND additives).

Anyway, Firstborn chose carrot sticks instead of fries and OJ instead of milkshake - without any prompting. Surely a cause for celebration rather than spurting bile.

I make no apologies - a meal at Maccy Ds once in a blue moon is NOT going to turn Firstborn into Britney Spears. Nor am I especially fond of the place, it just happens to be the quickest luncheon option when your husband keeps calling you on the mobile when you're trying to do a bit of retail therapy and hang out with your oldest child, bitching about hurrying up, how long does shopping take anyay and to get my ass home.

Chill out, you grumpy old bugger.

Jenny said...

YLM- I must agree with you completely. If you were to keep Firstborn away completely, she would then covet it and go behind your back for it. Keep it honest and out in the open and she will continue to make morally good decisions!

Jill said...

I have a three-year-old neice who goes to McDonalds so often that she knows the entire value menu. "Mommy will have a # 4, please" she chirps.

Manhattan Mama said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Prince said...

This have anything to do with YLM's American passport?

spender said...

give them what they want now, when they rebel against it you'll be the secret winner

Emily said...

Nothing wrong with Peckham! Or being a single mum. Or having to survive on benefits. My mum is from the that area and when my dad decided to chase after another woman and took all the cash, she wouldn't have been able to feed me without benefits.

But I am being annoying, I know what you are getting at.

Thing is, you can breastfeed your kids all you want, feed them organic food until their crap smells of peaches rather than masticated dog burgers but they can still do what they want when they are 18.

If they decide to worship the cultural ideological hell that is MacDonalds, listen to music that makes our eyes bleed and shag spotty stupid oiks, there is nothing we can do.

And to be honest, as a teenager that loved McDs fries, listening to sweartastic NWA and inappropriate boys, well...that's all part of development probably.

I think the best you can hope for is that your children still talk to you and, when you are dribbling, having your food liquidised and fed to you in a straw, that they don't keep it just out of arms reach!

emma said...

My son asked to go to McDonalds for about six months and finally I relented. He got a Happy Meal,loved the toy, then took one bite of the hamburger and said "yuck!" I was so proud...