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Numero Uno

I knew the stereotypes going in. I knew that moms were the ones often scrambling for the free moment, juggling it all.

But I guess it took this trip to realize just how long I've been putting myself in last place.

We're on a trip to Los Angeles. The Prince has work out here for 2 weeks and asked if I would come so he wouldn't be away from the rabbit for that long. I can juggle my work-- theoreotically -- from anywhere. As long as there's a computer and a connection to the 'Net, I am in business. (Think of this as foreshadowing.)

I have family on the left coast so I figured, place to crash, family visit for the rabbit, I grab some work time to get my deadlines in, not a problem.

Until the computer at my sister's crashes. Permanently. My laptop can't pick up a wireless signal from the house, the Kinko's charges $15 an hour (I probably have 40-50 hours of work to do in the next two weeks) and my parents still have a dial-up. I have to beg for babysitting time from family, pay for extra time from others.

Since when did my work become a hobby? And the rabbit and prince's priorities have higher status than mine?

I am working on the dial-up now (using this as my refuge instead of the margarita I am jonesing for...).

I think Yummy London Mummy may have the right idea. Not about the vacation and the lie-in (although that is seriously on the right track) but about reclaiming herself -- OUT of the home. I am not saying that this juggling act isn't good most of the time. It's just I need to make sure I re-shift me to a top level post as well.


What needs to happen is a shift in male understanding that just because you carry a child for nine months without any help from the Mr in the relationship (apart from the obvious contribution, which let's face it, is hardly an arduous task), that doesn't mean that your role post-birth is to carry the entire family for the rest of your natural life. And no, just because you happen to be male and know where the frying pan is kept, does not absolve you from all other responsibilities, such as equal share of childcare, being equally responsible and responsive when child care arrangments break down, and being aware that your partner may well have work dealines too.

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