Tuesday, July 18, 2006

10 annoying things about Alpha Male

  1. He really should have figured out by now that I am always right. It would save a lot of time and trouble in the long run if he just kept this fact front of mind.
  2. When he gets mad, he shouts; "What are you? Some kind of feminist?" Like it's an insult.
  3. He doesn't get the shopping thing (in my view is a serious compatibility issue). Why does he not understand that shopping is not an indulgence, it's crucial for my peace of mind? A bit like golf is for him but much less pointless.
  4. Why is it that half an hour of Alpha Male child-focused responsibility equals two hours of mine?
  5. He tells everyone he has to cook dinner every night as I can't even boil an egg. The truth is he doesn't like me 'messing up' the kitchen.
  6. He also nags that I don't do enough around the house. The reason I hired a cleaner is so I don't have to do 'enough' around the house.
  7. He secretly wants me to be just like his mother - who is a wonderful person but is also practically a saint in domestic and motherhood terms. Emulation is pointless.
  8. All the negative traits displayed by one or other of our children (tantrums, stubborness, cheekiness, nose picking) are inherited from me, while all their more welcome characteristics (loving natures, sharing nicely, intelligence, sense of humour) are due to Alpha Male's positive donation to the gene pool. According to Alpha Male, who is obviously perfect.
  9. When I get mad at him, he tells me to 'get a sense of humour'. Grrr. A statement guaranteed to make my lose any vestige of humour that might have been lurking in my red-rage brain.
  10. And the most annoying thing of all is that despite all the above, I love Alpha Male dearly and therefore have to forgive him for all these annoyances.


Surfing Free said...

Yep, they certainly are hard to love sometimes.
I can't even start making this sort of list or I'd still be at it 100 years later!!
Oh, and the 'get a sense of humour' line would get him a fat lip!

Yummy London Mummy said...

yep, that get a sense of humour line is a real button-pusher. I really need to come up with my own rage-inducer. All suggestions gratefully received...