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Can I Change My Mind?

The sun has finally made an appearance in London. I travel to work with my nose stuffed into a fat man's armpit on a daily basis, the office is an oven and I am having to suffer the sudden appearance of grey-white hairy man-toes everywhere (guys, having a pedicure does not compromise your masculinity, OK?)

I'm starting to come round to MM's way of thinking about summer. No, I don't have to run the gauntlet of sitting next to a (argghhh) model on the beach, which makes me feel reasonably fortunate in comparision, but my confidence is starting to suffer under the onslaught of young firm flesh on display. I am having a serious case of tanned-legs-and-taut-tummy envy. And what's even worse, what makes me want to weep with jealousy, are the girls prancing about in skimpy vest tops with not a hint of bra in sight - surely they can't all have had boob jobs? I don't think that mine have ever been that pert, even when I was a teenager.

The boob thing is a bit of an issue for me. I am rather unremarkably endowed in the chest department, always have been, and since breast-feeding two ravenous children they are nothing at all to write home about. So the bathing suit issue looms large.

When I was younger (pre-kids) displaying a flat chest in a bikini wasn't much of an issue. After all, when you have an enviably washboard stomach and pert buttocks, who cares? But now, with my stomach muscles on strike (and yes, I have tried sit-ups, and no, they didn't work) and my derriere resembling a three-week old windfall apple rather than a ripe peach, I wish I had the benefit of a Grand Canyon cleavage to act as a diversion.

So I guess I've got to give up the fight and accept that it's a kaftan summer for me this year.


Manhattan Mama said…
You are ridiculous. Okay, scratch that. I completely empathize with the feelings, but you are gor-ge-ous. Drop the kaftan, and strike a pose darling. As The Prince said to me last night, "You're not going to have this body you're 60." So true. One would hope I had found a way to resume my sit-ups by then.
MM I think I love you. But you haven't seen me since I gave birth for the second time. My midriff is a disaster area. I look three to four months pregnant AT ALL TIMES.

This summer seems to have induced a vanity-anxiety attack.

(But I do count my blessings. I have very nice ankles and my collarbones are rather cute. So it's not all bad.)
Manhattan Mama said…
Dear, I just saw a video of a woman who gave birth to quintuplets -- I have never seen skin like that....really. However, I understand vanity-attacks. Oh yes. So buy something a little loose if you must but let those collarbones and ankles shine!
Sugarmama said…
I, too, am very skimpy in the chest department, but no one seems to notice if I'm wearing a skimpy bikini top. Skin is skin is skin, as far as bathing suits are concerned. As for the bottom, the skirted bathing suit is a god-send, in my humble opinion. I would never have the guts to wear a skirt that short on the street, but pool-side it's dashing as hell. Mine is shirred on the sides and not the least bit matronly.
sarah said…
having just given birth 5 weeks ago, I am also in the market for a kaftan this summer. Such a shame, too, considering my engorged breasts would probably be phenomenal in a bikini top right now (for the first and only time in my life)--if only the rest of me were invisible...
Jill said…

Empire waist tops. Tight around the chest, loose and flowy around the tummy. You'll be hot. Promise.
Empire waist tops! They're good for the flatter ones amongst us as well (with my friend the padded bra, that is).

Hey sugarmama - where do I buy one of these miracle suits?

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