Skip to main content

Yet more guilt for working mothers?

The first part of new six-year UK study by childcare expert Penelope Leach and the FCCC (Families, Children and Child Care) was formally presented yesterday at a National Childminding Association conference.

The six-year study finds that young children of up to the age of 36 months not primarily cared for by their mothers tend to have slower social and emotional development, and are also more likely to be aggressive, withdrawn and sad.

Mothers, it seems, are the best at providing the high levels of response and sensitivity that infants and toddlers need.

While Leach singles out group nursery care as having the greatest negative impact on child development due to low staff:toddler ratios, registered childminders or qualified nannies are deemed to be the next best thing to stay-at-home mums. Interestingly, children cared for by close relatives were found to be at more of a disadvantage than those looked after by professional one-on-one carers.

My concern is that the findings of this study will be used as yet another stick to beat working mothers with. Yes, we know the ideal is for mothers to dedicate themselves selflessly to their children but the world has changed, women have changed, and quite frankly, for most women going back to work is an economic necessity - not a selfish whim. And let's face it, we're not all capable of the kind of saintliness that being a top-notch, full-time mother requires.


I have worked maily on a part-time homeworker basis since the births of my daughters. Now that my oldest child is three and my youngest child is one-and-a-half, I am more than ready to go back to work full-time and in an office surrounded by other reasonably civilized human beings.

I am a much better mother when I'm working; I get much greater personal fulfilment from being in the workplace than I do from being at home with my children, which makes me happier, more patient and more energetic when I do spend time with them. The emphasis then becomes on making the most of the time we have together, having fun, enjoying each other. When I'm at home full-time, as I often am between jobs (I am a freelancer) every day presents itself as a list of endless chores and persuading the kids to accompany me from A to B without inciting rebellion.

Does this make me a bad mother? I don't think so. I think it makes me normal.

Leach makes the point that the findings of the study should not be used to keep mothers at home, challenging the UK government to look into widening "genuine choice" by expanding the available network of childminders rather than their current obsession of increasing nursery places for children as young as two.

I couldn't agree more.

Comments

Bec said…
I read these sorts of reports in a mixed lather of terror and contempt... Almost always, they boil down to the quality of care your kids receive, but it won't always suit the story to make that clear up front.
I wholeheartedly agree with your statement that "I am a much better mother when I'm working..." - it could have been me typing that!!

Popular posts from this blog

The Grim Reaper

Firstborn is obsessed with death. It started with the odd comment, such as; "Mummy, what happens when you die?" OK, I thought, I was expecting this at some point, what a cute little curious brain she has. So I trotted out all the cosy Heaven stuff and left out all the things that could worry her, such as worms and bones and holes in the ground. This went down pretty well, although somehow Firstborn made the jump from my view of Heaven (filled with love, joy, always warm, never rains, has a huge discount designer shoe outlet and I never have to pay my Visa bill) to her own view of Heaven; a wonderous place where small girls don't have to eat their vegetables before they're allowed pudding, and where Barbie dolls grow on trees. Anyway, I digress. Last week Firstborn started shouting "Kill! Kill!" in a bloodthirsty tone while bashing her hithero-beloved teddy against the wall. This was topped by her purposely flushing her favourite My Little Pony down the loo. ...

What Price Romance?

Let's talk romance for a moment. Manhattan Mama clearly feels deprived in this department and this is one of the most bewildering aspects of life with her. My latest attempt to remedy this is to make a reservation at A Voce--some interpretation of Tuscan cuisine--that the NYT recently gave three very optimistic stars. I've been a few times on my employers expense, so I know it's nice but I also know what it's going to cost. I'm thinking lucky if we get out of there for less than $150. Tack on another $50 for the babysitter. Then drinks, cabs, etc. Better not to do the math. It's not that MM wouldn't be perfectly happy with a kabab or a trip to the hipster taqueria, maybe some flowers from the corner stand. None of that would register in her mind as this mythic thing know as a DATE, and thus would win me no more points on her end than remembering to take down the recycling. Making a DATE means you're thinking of her, which means you're engaged with h...